Hopes and Dreams

Hopes And Dreams-A friend of mine from university came for a visit and
brought some pictures of me (us) during university days. We had lots of fun
looking at the pictures and remembering. The truth, though, is those
pictures made me a little sad. Especially my graduation picture. The young
girl in that picture had so many hopes and dreams but look at me now. Except
I know that I still have hopes and dreams. They have just changed with added
years and changing circumstances.

When I graduated from university, my main hope and dream was to obtain a
teaching position. Afterall, I had gone to university to become a teacher.
It didn't happen right away, though, as I didn't obtain a regular position
until the following January. In the meantime, I was a substitute teacher in
Medicine Hat. Then I got a phone call that they needed a teacher in Cold
Lake. Where on earth was Cold Lake? Side note. I have never been able to
shake the idea that somehow God was involved in getting me to Cold Lake.
When the superintendent called, he said that he had phoned the University of
Lethbridge and they gave him my name. If he wanted somebody just out of
university, why didn't he call Edmonton which is a lot closer than
Lethbridge is. Anyway, I needed a job so I trundled off to Cold Lake, not
really knowing where I was going, and my brief teaching career began.

Once I was established in a fulltime teaching position, my next hope and
dream was like that of most young girls. I wanted to get married. Back then,
people actually got married before living together. After a couple of years
of teaching, I settled into what I thought would be a lengthy period as a
teacher, wife and, eventually, mother.

But I was so very, very wrong. After I came out of the coma, following the
brain stem stroke, my hopes and dreams had all radically changed. I woke up
only to discover that I was totally paralyzed and unable to speak. However,
the doctor did say that I would relearn to walk and talk and, to that end,
all my hopes and dreams were focused .

But then came the "complication". No matter what happened, I knew that I would never get better. My hopes and dreams died. I had no future that I even wanted to think about so I spent most of that period thinking about the past. And being depressed.

But then came September of 1985. I got saved. I knew that I knew that I knew that I would be healed. I was so excited. I thought that God would zap me at any minute and I would be the same as before. Little did I know how long it would be, or how much I would have to learn, before I get healed. As the years rolled by with no change in my condition, my zeal and excitement turned to dogged determination to stick it out. I can honestly say, though, that I have never given up on my hopes and dreams of a full recovery.

This past March, when I was starting to think that nothing will ever change, something did change. But not for the better. I was diagnosed with cancer . After I got over the shock, and after all hope of medical help was gone, in desperation, bordering on panic, I turned even more to God. I stuffed myself full of Bible verses for cancer patients and made confessions against the cancer. Recently, though, I have been trying to keep more of a balance between seeking healing for the cancer and seeking healing for everything else that is wrong with me. I can't help thinking that, once God heals the rest of me, the cancer will be gone as well.

So, as of today, that is how things stand. At the present time, most of my hopes and dreams are centered around my total healing, including the cancer. As for hopes and dreams for the future after I receive my healing, I don't really have any as I have no clue what God has planned for my future. From time to time, though, I can't help speculating.