Right Where He Wants Me

      Right Where He Wants Me-From time to time, it has crossed my mind that
God has me right where He wants me by keeping me shut away and unable to
move in Long-term Care. It is not a whole lot fun but I suspect that He has
His reasons.

First of all, I believe that God has me in Long-term Care as a hedge of
protection for me. It protects me from many of the pitfalls, trials and
temptations that Christians out in the world face on a day-to-day basis.
Things like money problems, marriage problems, kid problems, greed problems,
addiction problems, etc. For the most part, my only problems are boredom,
frustration and loneliness.

The fact that I can't speak, while extremely frustrating, keeps me from
blurting out words that I know I would regret. Unfortunately, I have the
kind of temper that flares up quickly. It usually dissipates just as quickly
but not until some damage has been done by my cutting words. However, now
that I can't speak, when I do have a tiff with somebody, because I have to
wait for the other person to pick up the speech board, I have time to cool
down and say something less offensive. In fact, I often hear the Holy Spirit
say to me, "Don't say that". I do often do change what I was going to say
but not always. Sometimes I just say it anyway. This seems to be especially
true when I am joking and start to say something that I shouldn't be saying.

Life in Long-term Care is boring, tedious, mundane, etc. but one thing it is
not is stressful. In this world where everybody seems to be rushing around
like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off, stress seems to be a
pretty common ailment. Not so for me. What is so stressful about the same
thing over and over day after day, month after month, year after year?
Monotonous, yes, but hardly stressful. Besides, I start each day reading the
Bible and that is the best stress-buster there is!

But, most of all, being unable to walk, unable to talk and living in Long-term Care
has enabled me to develop an intimate relationship with God. Because I can't
move, if God wants to talk to me, I have no choice but to stay put and
listen. I can't be busy rushing around like so many other people. Because I
can't speak, a lot of the time communication with other people is difficult,
if not downright impossible. However, over the years, I have learned to talk
to God in my thoughts. We often have a running conversation, no matter where
I am. At church, when I am out somewhere else and, especially, in Long-term
Care. Life in Long-term Care is a far cry from the hectic pace out there so
there is plenty of time  and plenty of quiet to read the Bible, pray,
worship and just enjoy the presence of God. The opportunity is always there
but I don't always avail myself of that opportunity.

So my conclusion is this. I don't like my present life much. Yet I am
starting to understand that God has a purpose for having me in my present
situation. God knows what is best for us. Even if we don't like it. So I can
only conclude that, from God's perspective, this is the best situation for
me RIGHT NOW.