Moods

Moods-One of my Christmas gifts was a little "mood" calendar. Some of the
nurses and I always have fun picking my mood for the day. Only problem is
that my moods can, and usually do, change several times a day. So, the mood
I pick in the morning may not at all be indicative of my mood or moods later
in the day.

Right now, my mood of choice is often "listless" or "apathetic". I don't
seem to have the energy for much of anything these days. I am weary and it
often seems like all I can do just to meander though each day. Sometimes, I
do think I need something to stimulate me somehow. No idea what that could be,
though. On the hand, I have come to understand that being a Christian is not
about always being stimulated. At times, it is about plodding along and
remaining faithful to God during the plodding.

There are days, at least periods of days, that I would have to be classified
as "cantankerous","cranky" or "grumpy". What can I say? Good thing that I
know not to go by feelings or I , and everybody else would be in trouble!
When I am feeling like that, I have learned that the best I can do is read
the Bible. Invariably, it makes me feel better.

But I also have times that I would classify as just the opposite. Sometimes,
I feel "hunky-dory" and everything is ok. There are times when the word
for my mood would be "chill". Only I prefer the word mellow. Sometimes I
just feel mellow for no apparent reason. I like it when I am feeling
"mischievious" and tease the nurses and give them a hard time. It is
refreshing for all of us just to laugh and act like total fools.

There are a couple of words on my calendar that I choose quite often. One is
the word "snarky". It just sounds how I feel some days. I looked up the
meaning just to make sure. One meaning is "testy" or "irritable". That is me
at times. Just plain irritable. They also mention "sarcastic". I have always
been too sarcastic about things. I still am but it harder with the speech
board. I spell out something sarcastic, then I often have to spell out that
I am being sarcastic. Which has cut down on my sarcasm, though not
eliminated it entirely.

The other word I choose a lot is "borderline". Especially in the morning, I
am never too sure which way my mood will go. So "borderline" seems like a
safe bet.

One word that is not on my mood calendar but I wish it was is "restless".
Some days, I just feel restless. It is not a bad mood but more like I want
something but I don't know what I want.

It is not on my mood calendar but I do suffer from spells of depression and,
unfortunately, these spells seem to be coming more frequently as I am
getting more and more tired and worn out. So far, the best way I have found
to get myself out of depression is to read the Bible.

So, as you can see, my moods or feelings or emotions or whatever go up and
down like a yo-yo. However, my faith in God and His promise has remained
steadfast year after year. In fact, when I am having an "off" day, I often
tell God that, even though my emotions are out of whack, it doesn't change
who He is or what He is going to do. Sometimes, all I can do is praise Him
through the tears but praise Him I will!