Qualms

Qualms-Even though I am eagerly looking forward to the day when I finally
receive my healing and am free from everything that is tying me down at
present, I also have to admit that I have a few qualms about it. Probably
only natural considering how long I have been living like this.

One qualm I have is that I won't have so much time to spend alone with God.
Right now, it is so easy. I don't need to set a specific time to be alone
with God as I am in His presence most of the time anyway. However, once I am
healed, things will most likely change . Though I have no real idea what
life for me will be then, I think it is a pretty safe bet to assume that I
will be a lot busier than I am now. Then I probably have to set a specific
time or times for God and make that a priority. A few years ago, I remember
telling the Lord that He might have to wake me up in the middle of the night
just so we can talk the way that we do now. I was thinking. Over the years,
because I can't speak, I have gotten used to having conversations with God
in my mind. That may prove very beneficial once I am busy again.

One of the chief qualms that I have is that the world has changed so much.
Just the technology alone is mind-boggling! When I had the stroke, there
were no such things as cell phones and all the other electronic gadgets that
people today deem necessary. Computers were just starting to come in but
they were far from wide spread. While I am extremely grateful for the
technology that enables me to use a computer, I am still old-fashioned
enough to think that I would prefer phone calls to texts, actual  shopping
to doing it online and real books to electronic ones. I have to admit,
though, that because I can't use the technology right now, I have never been
too interested in it.

Another way in which the world the world has changed, and not for the
better, is in its values. It was not so great back when I had the stroke but
nothing like it is now. I mostly determine the present values by the
commercials on tv and, oh my goodness. It is no wonder kids are turning out
so warped. Even though I don't watch sitcoms and other shows, I understand
that they portray values that are just as bad, if not worse.

Another qualm is that I might get thrust into the spotlight. Of course, I
don't know about that for sure but, for somebody who has never liked to have
attention drawn to myself, it is a intimidating thought.

A final qualm, though one I have never thought about much, is that, once I
have received my healing, I will have to go back to doing everything for
myself. Right now, somebody else is doing everything for me. I am primarily
thinking about finances, though there are certainly other areas as well.
Right now, somebody else is looking after all my financial concerns,
including taxes, and I am not overly keen on doing it myself again. One
qualm I don't have, though, is where my money will come from. Once I am
healed, money I am now getting will be cut off and I have no idea where
money will come from. I just know it will come from somewhere.

These are a few of the qualms that I have right now but I am pretty sure
that, when the time comes,they will all vanish. Very likely, I will have to
make more of an effort to set aside time to be alone with God but it can be
done. I know that, once I receive my healing, I will have to learn to use
some of the technology that I have been avoiding. But, once I make up my
mind to learn something, it usually doesn't take me long to learn it. So I
should be ok there. I really don't know if I will be thrust into the spotlight
or not but, if I am,with God's help, I will cope. The key word to all this
is "adapt". God will help me to adapt to whatever comes.