What I Have Learned About God And Man

-In September, I will have been a
Christian for 30 years. In that span of time, and under extremely difficult
circumstances, I have learned, experientially, about God.

One thing which means a lot to me is knowing that God loves me just as much
when I am feeling really frustrated and having a meltdown or am totally
depressed as when I am acting the way that I perceive a Christian should
act. Matter of fact, it is often in my down times that I feel the presence
of God the most. It didn't happen overnight but it was so liberating when it
finally got through to me that I don't have to perform in a certain way to
have God's approval.

Another thing that I have learned is the reality of "I will never leave you or
forsake you". Sometimes, not often, when I am really, really out of sorts I
wish that I could get rid of God but I have learned that is not going to
happen-unless I turn my back on Him for good. Most of the time, though, I
love His presence. At times, I do get lonely for people around who I can
talk to. It is so nice to know that God is always there to talk to. And He
doesn't need the speech board, either!

I know, by experience, that God does answer prayer. I have had so many
prayers answered over the years. Not many that would be considered major
but, because I can't do anything by myself, I pray about things that mobile
people wouldn't simply because they can do them for themselves. I can't
count the number of times that I have prayed about something and the answer
comes. Be it sending a nurse when I need one, a visitor after I have prayed
for one or some other thing that I have prayed about. Not that every single
prayer gets answered but often enough that I know prayer works.

Because of all the times that God has answered prayers in my day-to-day
life, I have learned that God is concerned about every aspect of our lives.
He not just concerned about major things like my healing or the salvation of
my kids and my sisters, but also my mundane, everyday life. I do have a part
to play, though. And that is too make sure to keep God front and center in
all areas of my life.

I can also attest to the sustaining power of God. Quite often, I wonder how
on earth I have been able to endure so much for so many years and am still
sane, more or less. The answer, of course, is the grace of God. God gives us
the grace we need to cope with whatever situation and the grace He gives me
is not going to be the same as He gives to somebody else.

But I have also learned a couple of things about people that I didn't
understand before. One is that people usually avoid what they are not
comfortable with.  Way back when I first had the stroke and my husband was
still taking me home on weekends, friends of ours would come to visit while
I was at home. But they never came to the hospital to visit. It was more
comfortable for them to come to see me while I was at home and my husband
was there as well. I totally understand as, in the past, I have done the
same thing.

Another thing that I have learned about people is that, if we really, really
want to do something, they will find a way. On the other hand, if we are
only thinking of doing it because we feel we should or for some other reason
but have no real desire to do it, we can usually come up with an excuse for
not doing it.

I won't lie . It has been a long, extremely difficult 30 years. But I am
trusting that some of the things that I have learned, both about God and
man, will stay with me.