Things I Have Learned

 -I admit that it been a long, difficult 30 years. But, over that span, I have learned some valuable life lessons:

1. I have learned not to care what people think of me. That hasn't happened overnight. Far from it. When I first came to Long Term Care, I was so embarrassed by my condition that I wouldn't even let the nurses feed me in front of everybody else. But that didn't last long and, now, I eat at restaurants without giving it a second thought. I know people stare but, then, they stare at me all the time anyway. I admit that being stared at constantly does still bother me at times but I don't even notice it when I get to eat "real" food!

2. I have learned that tomorrow is another day. When I have one of those days where I am depressed, cranky, miserable, can't stand myself and I am sure nobody else can stand me either,I have learned that tomorrow is another day and, chances are, when another day comes, I will be feeling a whole lot better. It might concern me if these down times went on and on but, so far, I have been able to shake it off pretty quickly.

3. I have learned to take one day at a time. If I start looking too far ahead, I just start to feel discouraged as all I see are more long months and years of suffering. But I know that Jesus can move quickly so I really don't know that, do II ? Even Jesus Himself tells us not to worry about tomorrow.

4. I have learned that nothing is the end of the world. Nothing, that is, except the "real" end of the world. I may be totally upset one day about something but by the next week, sometimes even the next day, I will have completely forgotten about it.

5. I have learned not to make decisions when my emotions are running high. If I do, the decision will be based on how I am feeling at the moment but, when I calm down, I will probably regret that decision. For example, if somebody asks me about going somewhere when I am in a "snit", I am probably going to say no but, after I calm down,I realize that I lost an opportunity to get out of this place by making a decision when I shouldn't have.

6. I have learned to never say never. I would never in a million years have thought I would end up like this but I did. If it could happen to me, it or something else, could happen to anybody. I have also learned not to tell God that I will never do something. If I do, that may be exactly what He asks me to do.

7. I have learned that there is no such thing as a breaking point for a true Christian. Plenty of times, especially lately, I have told God that I am at the breaking point and that I can't endure it anymore. But guess what? I haven't broken yet and I am not going to. I bend from time to time but I don't break.

8. I have learned how important it is to say, "I am sorry". There are times when, out of sheer frustration, I will say something to one of the nurses that I shouldn't say. At such times, I know that it is important to apologize to her at the first opportunity. But there are also times that I have a little tiff with one of the nurses. Even if I don't think that I am in wrong, I try to apologize first. If I do, she will too. It is more important to me to maintain a good relationship with the nurses, most of whom are not Christians,than it is to be right.

These are just a few of things that I have learned over the years. If I really thought about it, I could probably come up with more.