- As you would expect, the scope of my activities is pretty limited However, having always been a voracious reader, I do enjoy reading the Bible. I like it for several reasons.
The primary reason for reading the Bible is that it is a time of fellowship with God. A time when I can shut the negative circumstances and focus on what is really important. A time to let God speak to me through the Bible and a time that I can talk to God about what I read.
But I also read the Bible to get knowledge. If I want to know who God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are, where else would I look but God's own book? Or how can I know how They think if I don't read the Bible?There are many other things to be learned by reading the Bible. Like the promises of God, the commands of God, etc.
Along with knowledge, I also get wisdom and discretion from the Bible. The Bible is full, especially in Proverbs, of wisdom on how to "do life" the right way. I may not be able to use it all right now but I know that it is important to store in my heart for the future.
Reading the Bible is an anti-depressant for me. Times when I just want to scream and throw things out of sheer frustration or times that I feel so hopeless that all I can do is weep helplessly, I find that, if I am on my computer and can read the Bible-, and have the sense to do it, I ALWAYS feel better.
Reading the Bible also provides me with comfort. Even when I am not depressed, there are times that I just feel sad. At times like that, my best bet is to start reading the Bible. There are lots of comforting verses in the Bible and, before, long, the sadness is gone.
I have way too many hours in a day to try to fill up. It is certainly not the only reason that I read the Bible but it does help to pass time for me.
I lead a lonely life. All the people in Long Term Care do. When the loneliness is really overpowering and almost more than I can bear, I find reading the Bible answers that need as well. It offers companionship when people are not around.
One of the most important things that reading the Bible does is that it distracts me from my own thoughts and puts my focus back on God/Jesus where it should be. I struggle a lot with my thoughts so I need to be reading the Bible lots too.
Lastly, I spend lots of time in the Bible because I enjoy it. Plain and simple.
Me
At the beloved/hated writing vessel
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Friday, 23 May 2014
Why God Chose Me
-To be honest, I haven't the foggiest idea why God chose me for this. All I know is that God is sovereign and can choose who He wants for whatever He wants for whenever He wants. I have always been a very ordinary person. ! Corinthians 1:27, in the Bible, does say something about God choosing the foolish and weak to confound the wise and mighty. Everytime I read that scripture. I think that it describes me to a tee! I certainly don't qualify as one of the "wise and mighty"! So the fact that I was such an ordinary person may have something to with my selection but not all. Afterall, there a lot of ordinary people in this world. Why didn't God choose one of them instead of me? But, I guess,it is for Him to know and me to stop speculating about.
One thing I do know, it wasn't because I was seeking God. Far from it. I can honestly say that I was never antagonistic to God. He simply was not a part of my thoughts or life. Like most people.
When people become Christians, they may think that they are choosing to follow Jesus when, in reality, just the opposite is true. Another verse in this Bible, John 6:44, says that no man can come to Me (Jesus) unless the Father (God) draws him. After I became a Christian, the young man who was instrumental in me becoming a Christian told me that he had seen me out walking with the nurses and the Holy Spirit told him to come to the hospital and talk to me. Thankfully, he was obedient or who knows where I would be by now. For Christians, if the Holy Spirit tells you to talk to someone about Jesus, it is important that you do it. You don't know the negative effect it may have on that person's life if you don't.
One thing I do know, it wasn't because I was seeking God. Far from it. I can honestly say that I was never antagonistic to God. He simply was not a part of my thoughts or life. Like most people.
When people become Christians, they may think that they are choosing to follow Jesus when, in reality, just the opposite is true. Another verse in this Bible, John 6:44, says that no man can come to Me (Jesus) unless the Father (God) draws him. After I became a Christian, the young man who was instrumental in me becoming a Christian told me that he had seen me out walking with the nurses and the Holy Spirit told him to come to the hospital and talk to me. Thankfully, he was obedient or who knows where I would be by now. For Christians, if the Holy Spirit tells you to talk to someone about Jesus, it is important that you do it. You don't know the negative effect it may have on that person's life if you don't.
Friday, 16 May 2014
Favorite Things To Do
-After I receive my healing, I am sure that my activities will be vastly different but, for now, I am pretty limited in what I can do. However, there are a few things that I like to do.
1. I like to read the Bible-I am not sure that this is not my favorite time of day. I start reading the Bible and I forget all the other crud in my life. I like to do my Bible reading first thing in the morning after I get up and at my computer. For two reasons. I don't have much stamina so I like to read the Bible while I am at peak stamina. That way, I concentrate more on what is being said and make fewer mistakes on my computer. The second reason is that I am not a morning person AT ALL and reading the Bible puts me in a better frame of mind for the rest of the day.
2. I like to go to church-When I first started coming to church, I was so excited when Sunday came and I could go to church. After so many years, most of the excitement has pretty much worn off but I still like to go and never miss if it at all possible to go. While I know that I can worship, pray and read the Bible by myself, it is just good to do so with others. Plus, I know that God speaks through the pastor so I always listen for something God may be speaking to me.
3. I like watching little kids-Before church, when everybody is visiting in the foyer, because it is so hard for me to take part in conversations, I like to watch the little kids play. It always reminds of what Jesus said that we need to become like little children.
4. I like to eat-And I better qualify that or you will think think I am a total glutton! I really don't eat a lot here at the hospital but, when I go out to eat, be it a restaurant or somebody's house, I usually eat more than I should simply because it is so good to get different food. The food that others may take for granted is probably a treat for me. So, yes, I admit that one of the pleasures in my life is eating-provided it is not hospital food!
5. I like visitors-Not only do they help pass time for me, it is a real pleasure to actually have a conversation with somebody. However, I do understand that a lot of people feel intimidated by my speech board and, to be quite honest, I don't have a lot of patience left with it either. So I am quite happy with people coming to read to me without saying a word.
6. I like exchanging e-mails with people-I may not be a big fan of technology (not even a little one) but I do like my e-mail. It allows me communicate much easier than with my speech board. And getting e-mails from other people is something I look forward to. But the e-mail also gives me more freedom as it enables me to contact others without the nurses having to do it for me.
6. I like special occasions-By special occasions I mean anything that relieves temporarily from the hum-drum of my daily existence. Things like guest speakers at church, weddings, showers, trips to Edmonton or Lloydminster, etc.
1. I like to read the Bible-I am not sure that this is not my favorite time of day. I start reading the Bible and I forget all the other crud in my life. I like to do my Bible reading first thing in the morning after I get up and at my computer. For two reasons. I don't have much stamina so I like to read the Bible while I am at peak stamina. That way, I concentrate more on what is being said and make fewer mistakes on my computer. The second reason is that I am not a morning person AT ALL and reading the Bible puts me in a better frame of mind for the rest of the day.
2. I like to go to church-When I first started coming to church, I was so excited when Sunday came and I could go to church. After so many years, most of the excitement has pretty much worn off but I still like to go and never miss if it at all possible to go. While I know that I can worship, pray and read the Bible by myself, it is just good to do so with others. Plus, I know that God speaks through the pastor so I always listen for something God may be speaking to me.
3. I like watching little kids-Before church, when everybody is visiting in the foyer, because it is so hard for me to take part in conversations, I like to watch the little kids play. It always reminds of what Jesus said that we need to become like little children.
4. I like to eat-And I better qualify that or you will think think I am a total glutton! I really don't eat a lot here at the hospital but, when I go out to eat, be it a restaurant or somebody's house, I usually eat more than I should simply because it is so good to get different food. The food that others may take for granted is probably a treat for me. So, yes, I admit that one of the pleasures in my life is eating-provided it is not hospital food!
5. I like visitors-Not only do they help pass time for me, it is a real pleasure to actually have a conversation with somebody. However, I do understand that a lot of people feel intimidated by my speech board and, to be quite honest, I don't have a lot of patience left with it either. So I am quite happy with people coming to read to me without saying a word.
6. I like exchanging e-mails with people-I may not be a big fan of technology (not even a little one) but I do like my e-mail. It allows me communicate much easier than with my speech board. And getting e-mails from other people is something I look forward to. But the e-mail also gives me more freedom as it enables me to contact others without the nurses having to do it for me.
6. I like special occasions-By special occasions I mean anything that relieves temporarily from the hum-drum of my daily existence. Things like guest speakers at church, weddings, showers, trips to Edmonton or Lloydminster, etc.
Friday, 9 May 2014
Things I Have Learned
-I admit that it been a long, difficult 30 years. But, over that span, I have learned some valuable life lessons:
1. I have learned not to care what people think of me. That hasn't happened overnight. Far from it. When I first came to Long Term Care, I was so embarrassed by my condition that I wouldn't even let the nurses feed me in front of everybody else. But that didn't last long and, now, I eat at restaurants without giving it a second thought. I know people stare but, then, they stare at me all the time anyway. I admit that being stared at constantly does still bother me at times but I don't even notice it when I get to eat "real" food!
2. I have learned that tomorrow is another day. When I have one of those days where I am depressed, cranky, miserable, can't stand myself and I am sure nobody else can stand me either,I have learned that tomorrow is another day and, chances are, when another day comes, I will be feeling a whole lot better. It might concern me if these down times went on and on but, so far, I have been able to shake it off pretty quickly.
3. I have learned to take one day at a time. If I start looking too far ahead, I just start to feel discouraged as all I see are more long months and years of suffering. But I know that Jesus can move quickly so I really don't know that, do II ? Even Jesus Himself tells us not to worry about tomorrow.
4. I have learned that nothing is the end of the world. Nothing, that is, except the "real" end of the world. I may be totally upset one day about something but by the next week, sometimes even the next day, I will have completely forgotten about it.
5. I have learned not to make decisions when my emotions are running high. If I do, the decision will be based on how I am feeling at the moment but, when I calm down, I will probably regret that decision. For example, if somebody asks me about going somewhere when I am in a "snit", I am probably going to say no but, after I calm down,I realize that I lost an opportunity to get out of this place by making a decision when I shouldn't have.
6. I have learned to never say never. I would never in a million years have thought I would end up like this but I did. If it could happen to me, it or something else, could happen to anybody. I have also learned not to tell God that I will never do something. If I do, that may be exactly what He asks me to do.
7. I have learned that there is no such thing as a breaking point for a true Christian. Plenty of times, especially lately, I have told God that I am at the breaking point and that I can't endure it anymore. But guess what? I haven't broken yet and I am not going to. I bend from time to time but I don't break.
8. I have learned how important it is to say, "I am sorry". There are times when, out of sheer frustration, I will say something to one of the nurses that I shouldn't say. At such times, I know that it is important to apologize to her at the first opportunity. But there are also times that I have a little tiff with one of the nurses. Even if I don't think that I am in wrong, I try to apologize first. If I do, she will too. It is more important to me to maintain a good relationship with the nurses, most of whom are not Christians,than it is to be right.
These are just a few of things that I have learned over the years. If I really thought about it, I could probably come up with more.
1. I have learned not to care what people think of me. That hasn't happened overnight. Far from it. When I first came to Long Term Care, I was so embarrassed by my condition that I wouldn't even let the nurses feed me in front of everybody else. But that didn't last long and, now, I eat at restaurants without giving it a second thought. I know people stare but, then, they stare at me all the time anyway. I admit that being stared at constantly does still bother me at times but I don't even notice it when I get to eat "real" food!
2. I have learned that tomorrow is another day. When I have one of those days where I am depressed, cranky, miserable, can't stand myself and I am sure nobody else can stand me either,I have learned that tomorrow is another day and, chances are, when another day comes, I will be feeling a whole lot better. It might concern me if these down times went on and on but, so far, I have been able to shake it off pretty quickly.
3. I have learned to take one day at a time. If I start looking too far ahead, I just start to feel discouraged as all I see are more long months and years of suffering. But I know that Jesus can move quickly so I really don't know that, do II ? Even Jesus Himself tells us not to worry about tomorrow.
4. I have learned that nothing is the end of the world. Nothing, that is, except the "real" end of the world. I may be totally upset one day about something but by the next week, sometimes even the next day, I will have completely forgotten about it.
5. I have learned not to make decisions when my emotions are running high. If I do, the decision will be based on how I am feeling at the moment but, when I calm down, I will probably regret that decision. For example, if somebody asks me about going somewhere when I am in a "snit", I am probably going to say no but, after I calm down,I realize that I lost an opportunity to get out of this place by making a decision when I shouldn't have.
6. I have learned to never say never. I would never in a million years have thought I would end up like this but I did. If it could happen to me, it or something else, could happen to anybody. I have also learned not to tell God that I will never do something. If I do, that may be exactly what He asks me to do.
7. I have learned that there is no such thing as a breaking point for a true Christian. Plenty of times, especially lately, I have told God that I am at the breaking point and that I can't endure it anymore. But guess what? I haven't broken yet and I am not going to. I bend from time to time but I don't break.
8. I have learned how important it is to say, "I am sorry". There are times when, out of sheer frustration, I will say something to one of the nurses that I shouldn't say. At such times, I know that it is important to apologize to her at the first opportunity. But there are also times that I have a little tiff with one of the nurses. Even if I don't think that I am in wrong, I try to apologize first. If I do, she will too. It is more important to me to maintain a good relationship with the nurses, most of whom are not Christians,than it is to be right.
These are just a few of things that I have learned over the years. If I really thought about it, I could probably come up with more.
Friday, 2 May 2014
What I Can Do For Jesus
-Awhile ago, inspired by a song at church, I wrote about What Jesus Has Done For Me. Now, again inspired by another song from church, I was thinking of all the things that I can do for Jesus. For years, I had it in my head that, because I can't serve in the church, I can't do anything for Jesus either. But, a few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit pointed out that there is a difference between work for the church and work for Jesus. So here is a list of a few things that I can do for Jesus.
1. Believe-According to John 6:29, I think, the work of God is to believe on "Him who He (God) has sent". Meaning Jesus. Everytime I read it,I think, "That is something I can do and have been doing for a long time".
2. Time-I can give Jesus lots of time. Because I don't have so many other commitments like most people do, I can spend more time with Jesus. Reading the Bible, praying, etc.
3. Worship-Sometimes at church, I feel bad because all I can do is sit there like a lump while others are clapping their hands, dancing and raising their hands to the Lord. I do try to sing but all that comes out are grunts. I am ok with that, though, as I know that God understands me even if people don't. But I know that it is important to praise and worship God and Jesus during the week and not just at church. There are times, both here and at church, that all I can do is praise through the tears. I know that Jesus deserves my praise no matter how I feel.
4. The Bible -Another thing that I can do for Jesus is read the Bible. It is important to Him and essential to us that we spend enough time reading the Bible to know what He has to say to us.
5. Obey-I can obey. Jesus is big on obedience, whether is to His commands in the Bible or the promptings of Holy Spirit. I would like say that I always obey but that would be stretching it. All I can say is that it is not too often that I DELIBERATELY disobey.
6. II Prayer/Communion with Jesus-I can pray. Maybe not out loud but I still can pray. I do take time to pray before I go to sleep but I also fellowship with Jesus all day. I have learned to talk to Him constantly in my mind which, I am sure, will stand me in good stead once I am busy again .
7. Nurses-I don't talk to the nurses too much about God for the simple reason that, before I was saved, if somebody kept talking about God, I avoided them. And I don't want the nurses to avoid me. Once in awhile, though, the conversation takes a turn which allows me to slip in a comment about God.
8. Inviting people to church-I can invite people to church but I have gotten slack in this area. A little because the van I travel on doesn't have enough room for anybody to come with me but, mostly because of all the people who have said that they would meet me at church but then not shown up. Lately, I have mostly just been asking when the Holy Spirit prompts me to and I don't dare disobey.
9. Blog-I know that I am writing this blog for Jesus and anything I say is because that it is what Jesus wants to say through me. I must admit that I felt I was exposing too much of myself by writing so much about me but I have done it anyway because I believe that is what He wants.
10. Giving Thanks-One of the biggest ways that I can do something for Jesus is by giving Him thanks for who He is and what He has done.
1. Believe-According to John 6:29, I think, the work of God is to believe on "Him who He (God) has sent". Meaning Jesus. Everytime I read it,I think, "That is something I can do and have been doing for a long time".
2. Time-I can give Jesus lots of time. Because I don't have so many other commitments like most people do, I can spend more time with Jesus. Reading the Bible, praying, etc.
3. Worship-Sometimes at church, I feel bad because all I can do is sit there like a lump while others are clapping their hands, dancing and raising their hands to the Lord. I do try to sing but all that comes out are grunts. I am ok with that, though, as I know that God understands me even if people don't. But I know that it is important to praise and worship God and Jesus during the week and not just at church. There are times, both here and at church, that all I can do is praise through the tears. I know that Jesus deserves my praise no matter how I feel.
4. The Bible -Another thing that I can do for Jesus is read the Bible. It is important to Him and essential to us that we spend enough time reading the Bible to know what He has to say to us.
5. Obey-I can obey. Jesus is big on obedience, whether is to His commands in the Bible or the promptings of Holy Spirit. I would like say that I always obey but that would be stretching it. All I can say is that it is not too often that I DELIBERATELY disobey.
6. II Prayer/Communion with Jesus-I can pray. Maybe not out loud but I still can pray. I do take time to pray before I go to sleep but I also fellowship with Jesus all day. I have learned to talk to Him constantly in my mind which, I am sure, will stand me in good stead once I am busy again .
7. Nurses-I don't talk to the nurses too much about God for the simple reason that, before I was saved, if somebody kept talking about God, I avoided them. And I don't want the nurses to avoid me. Once in awhile, though, the conversation takes a turn which allows me to slip in a comment about God.
8. Inviting people to church-I can invite people to church but I have gotten slack in this area. A little because the van I travel on doesn't have enough room for anybody to come with me but, mostly because of all the people who have said that they would meet me at church but then not shown up. Lately, I have mostly just been asking when the Holy Spirit prompts me to and I don't dare disobey.
9. Blog-I know that I am writing this blog for Jesus and anything I say is because that it is what Jesus wants to say through me. I must admit that I felt I was exposing too much of myself by writing so much about me but I have done it anyway because I believe that is what He wants.
10. Giving Thanks-One of the biggest ways that I can do something for Jesus is by giving Him thanks for who He is and what He has done.
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