Healing

Healing-As I was looking up and reading healing scriptures one morning, the
thought came to mind that, even though I have written about many different
things in these blogs, I have never written about healing from God. So I
thought that would be a good topic for my next blog. My next thought was
that I didn't know what to write about seeing that I haven't yet received my
"major" healing from God. But I have received some "minor" healings so,
combined with what I have learned while waiting for my "major" healing, that
should give me something to write about.

First of all, receiving healing from God, of any kind, requires faith on our
part. We must believe that God really is and that He is able to physically
heal us. But just knowing it in our head won't do. We must believe it in our
hearts. We very well may think we believe in our hearts for healing from God
but only God knows that for sure. I do, though, distinctly remember the day
that I could feel the faith for my healing from God moving from my head into
my heart.

Secondly, any healing from God, big or little, must be based on what the
Bible says about healing. There are many promises in the Bible pertaining to
physical healing. However, it is our job to learn them. God isn't going to
transplant them into us while we are doing things other than reading the
Bible. I have been looking up and reading healing scriptures for so many
years that I pretty much have them memorized. That stands me in good stead
when I want to remind God of a healing promise that He has made. I also
know, though, that I can't slacken up on reading healing scriptures if I
really want to receive a healing from God.

A healing from God usually takes time. It is true that, out of the blue, God
will sometimes perform a miracle for some reason known only to Himself. But
that is not the norm. I can't help wondering if God doesn't make us wait to
see if we want the healing badly enough to put in the time and make the
effort to thoroughly learn His healing promises. In all honesty, if I had
known how long it was going to be before my healing showed up on the
outside, I am not sure I would have had the courage for this But God is
smart enough not to reveal things like that at the beginning!

A healing from God takes determination. You must have it settled in your mind that your healing is going to come from God and never, ever give up. No matter how bad it gets. I know that, every so often, I literally have to tell myself that I won't give up, I won't, I won't. I have no other option for healing as no doctor can help me . That fact alone is enough to boost my determination level.

Along with determination, anybody who wants to receive healing from God needs to have perserverence. Barring a miracle, people who want healing from God are probably not going to receive it unless they keep at it. Both praying and reading and meditating on healing scriptures. In my case, I have been doing it for 30 years and my healing has still not gotten to the outside so others can see it.

Patience is not a character trait that comes naturally to most of us. Especially in our fast-paced society. But, by making people wait to receive their healing, I suspect that God forces people to develop the character trait of patience. I still catch myself being too impatient at times but I certainly have more patience than I did 30 years ago.

In the introduction, I mentioned some minor healings that I have received. I have but I have also learned that, after praying and speaking to the symptoms to go and they do, there is a good chance that those same symptoms will come back to try to convince me that I haven't been healed. It is up to me to stand against those symptoms until they are gone for good.

That is my take on healing. Most of it learned through experience. Aside from a few minor healings, I am still waiting but my total restoration is coming. 

Food

  Food-I like to start writing my blog on Saturday morning so I don't have
so much to write on Tuesday. This time, though, Friday afternoon came and I
still didn't have a clue what to write about. I certainly wasn't stressed
out about it but I did tell God that it would be nice to know a little ahead
of time. The thought that came to me was "Food". My thought, "No way. I have
nothing to say about food". I am still not totally convinced that I should
be writing about food but, as I don't want to risk disobeying God, I will
scribble down a few things. So please bear with me.

Some time ago, I wrote in my blog that all I had left my pre-stroke life,
except for my kids, are my memories. But, like a lot of people who are
getting older, my childhood memories are the strongest. The same with food
memories. I can still taste some of the things that my mother made but that
I eaten since I was a child. One was something called Kooga. I have no idea
how to spell it but it was some kind of German coffee cake. My mother never
made macaroni and cheese. Instead, we always got macaroni and tomatoes. We
didn't have a lot of money so I remember things like sardines on toast and
fried bologna. Like most children I remember best the sweets. We didn't get
a lot of store-bought candy but Mom would, quite often, make fudge for us
kids. Of course, sometimes it was chocolate but, what I remember most, is
the brown sugar fudge. Something I haven't had in years. Other times, Mom
would give us each a cup, fill it with stuff she used for baking (chocolate
chips, raisins, coconut, walnuts, etc ) and let us pick away. Then there
were the molasses cookies. I can still remember coming home from school to
find the table covered with soft molasses cookies.  Oh, the birthday cakes.
Of course,  Mom would make them herself. Layer cakes. But, before she put
the layers together and iced it, she stuck trinkets in the bottom layer so
that, when we had a piece of cake we also got a trinket.

One food memory I have is when I was a teen living in Medicine Hat. At the
Woolworth store, they had a with the most incredible bananas rolls. Looked
like a jelly roll but was like bananas bread rolled up with banana cream
frosting. It was so good!

My food memory from after I was married was that, if we had leftover turkey,
my husband would put it in a white sauce and we would eat it on toast. Yum!

Since the stroke, though, it has been hospital food, hospital food and more hospital food! When they first started to give me food, it was pretty gross as I had to eat pureed food, very much like baby food. Now, though, I can eat most things as long as it is cut small and not to hard. Most of the food served in Long-term Care is not bad and some it is really quite good. Still, I jump at any opportunity I get to eat different food.

Thinking about it , I can't think of any food that I utterly loathe. Except green peppers. I can't stand those things! When I was a kid, from time to time, my mother made baked, stuffed green peppers. I wouldn't even stay in the house while they were cooking because of the smell! Of course, there are other things that I prefer not to eat but nothing is as disgusting, to me, as green peppers!

Even though I can eat a lot of things, I do get hungry for things that I can't eat because they are too hard. One is apples. I crave an apple. Another thing I miss eating are nuts of any kind. I miss just eating them by the handful but there is also a lot baking that I can't eat because of the nuts in it. Sometimes, it would just be nice to be able to suck on a hard candy. And so on...

As I was writing this, the thought was that perhaps God had me write about food merely as a test of my obedience. He has been known to do that. Whatever the reason, writing this made me hungry. Most of it, anyway! 

In Everything Give Thanks

In Everything Give Thanks-One day, when I was waiting for them to bring my
supper, the phrase "in everything give thanks" kept rolling around in my
mind. I got to thinking that "in everything" means wherever I am, whatever I
am doing and whatever kind of mood that I am in.

First, let's deal with the places that I need to be giving thanks to God.
The most obvious one, of course, is church. It should be relatively easy for
me to thank God amongst other people who are thanking and praising God as
well,. Most times, it is but there are times that I have to make myself
thank God. At times, through tears.

As soon as I get up in the morning, the nurses put me on the computer and I
start reading the Bible. It is pretty easy to be thankful when reading about
what Jesus has done and is going to do for me. This is my favorite time of
day.

Then I get taken to the dining room for breakfast. The dining room, be it at
breakfast, lunch or supper, is not a place that I am as thankful as I should
be. Even the grace that I do is usually just a hurried thanks instead of
really thanking God for the food that He has provided. I keep reminding
myself that a lot of people in this world don't have food nearly as good as
this but, too often, I still find myself complaining about the food.

After breakfast, I go back to the computer. This time, it is mostly to
write. Mainly e-mails. My thankfulness during this time is rather hit and
miss. Sometimes I do express thanks to God. Especially when my music evokes
thanks to God. At other times, through, I concentrate so much on what I am
writing that I don't express thanks to God or, even, pay attention to my
music.

After lunch, I rest in bed and listen to music. I have learned to listen to
the words of the music and concentrate on thanking God or my thoughts will
wander all over the place and I end up feeling depressed. Christian music is
a real blessing for me as it help to keep me in a thankful attitude. Until I get up for supper.

In the evening,after supper, it is back to the computer. This time,though,
it is mostly to watch tv. By evening, I don't have the energy for much else.
I mostly watch some kind of sporting event. Years ago, the Holy Spirit told
me be praying for those players. So, at the start of each game, I do try to
remember to pray a general prayer for players on both teams. Once the game
starts, though, too often I get so interested in the game that I forget
either to pray for those players or give thanks to God.

One habit that I have had for years is that, once I am in bed for the night, before I pray about other
things or go to sleep, is to thank the Lord for different things during that
day. Admittedly, some days are pretty slim pickings but I can usually come
up with something. When I am awake at night, I do begin thanking the Lord at
times but, too often, I get frustrated because I can't sleep.

I think that it would be redundant to mention giving thanks in everything that I do as I have already covered pretty much all that I do. I will just say this. Even though God is in my thoughts most of the time, it isn't always the giving of thanks. I do my share of griping and complaining.

Finally, "in everything give thanks" must also mean whatever state my emotions are in. It is relatively easy to be thankful when things are going well and I am feeling "sunny". But things change and my "sunny" turns  to depression and discouragement or anger and frustration. Then it is not so easy to maintain a thankful attitude.

As I was writing this, I realized that I need, more often, to make a CONSCIOUS decision to thank God no matter where I am, what I am doing or how I am feeling. I say conscious because there are times that thanking God is about the last thing I think of or feel like doing. But I can make myself until it becomes the automatic thing to do. 

Ways That I Depend on God

Ways That I Depend On God-The Holy Spirit inspires all of my blogs but,
every so often, I know that I  absolutely have to write about a particular
subject. This is one one of those times. I just know that I have to write
about ways that I depend on God. I am not too sure why but I do remember the
Holy Spirit telling me that God didn't call me to understand but to obey.
So...

The first, and foremost, way that I depend on God is for my ultimate healing
in this life. No doctor can restore me to the health that I had before the
stroke but Jesus can and will. My only part in my healing is to make sure
that, out of frustration and fatigue, I don't give up.

But, I also depend on God for other, what I call my little, healings. If I
complained to the nurses whenever I have some kind of pain or discomfort, I
would be complaining to them most of the time. Instead, when I get a
toothache or earache or some other ache, I chose to pray and the pain
usually goes away. However, I have found that the pain will sometimes try to
come back so I have to stand against the pain, in prayer or by speaking to
the pain to get out of here, until it is gone for good. To be honest, a lot
of times, the nurses never know the pain that I have been in. As I was
writing this, I thought of the times when they were feeding me, something
got caught in my throat and I felt like I was choking. I just thought the
name "Jesus" and it went down. This hasn't happened in a long time, though,
as everyone is pretty careful that I don't choke.

I also depend on God to help me with other things as well. Because I can't
do anything on my own, I have to depend on outside help. If another person,
nurse or visitor, is around, I will get that person to help me but there is
not always another person around. Then I have to depend on God. There are
times I need a nurse but they don't hear me calling. But, if I pray , one
will often come. It is really quite amazing the "small" things that God will
do help me. One time, I got too hot at night. But, because I can't just
throw off the blankets, so I prayed and, all of a sudden, there was a cool
breeze in my room. Not too long ago, I needed my birth certificate. But I
didn't think I had it and I wasn't sure how I could get. The thought kept
coming to me to look in my wallet. So I asked a nurse to look in my wallet
and, sure enough, there it was. These are just a few examples of the
"little" things that God does for me because I can't do anything for myself.

I definitely depend on God for the strength and courage to face each day. What I face everyday day does take strength (mostly mental) and courage. In myself, I know I don't have what it takes. Left on my own, I am pretty sure I would either dead or mental hospital by now. But, thankfully, God has not left me on my own. I really have no idea how He keeps me going but, somehow, I keep motoring along.

I also depend on God to remind me of things. I have always had a good memory but I am now at the age that, from time to time, it needs a bit of jogging. Because I can't do anything, I can't write it on the calendar or, in this age, put it in my phone. When I want to remember something, I simply ask the Holy Spirit to remind me and He does.

I depend on God for companionship. I spend a lot of time alone so it is wonderful to know that He is there all the time for me to talk. Even if they wanted to, there are plenty of times that people are not able to be with me. It is nice to have a companion who is with me at all times. Even in the middle of the night.

Finally, I depend on the Bible which is God speaking to me through the written word. I depend on all the promises God has made in the Bible, including healing. I depend on the Bible to cheer me up when I am feeling down and depressed. I depend on the Bible to keep me company when I am feeling lonely. And I depend on the Bible when I feel restless and don't know what I want to do.

As much as anything, I found this blog encouraging to write. It encouraged me to focus on the ways I can depend on God. And it encouraged me to recall some of the neat things God has done for me in the past. 

Good, Bad, and Ugly

The Good, The Bad And The Ugly-Upon reflection, I realized that my life can
be summed up in three words. Good, bad and ugly!

First, the good. No matter how it looks or feels, there are good aspects to
my life. The first way that my life is good is that, because I have so much
time, I can spend more time with God. While other people are rushing around,
getting ready for work or other commitments, I can leisurely get up and,
once I am on my computer, spend until breakfast reading the Bible and
fellowshipping with God. In the afternoons, while other people are still
busy
with whatever, I can lie in bed, listen to praise music and talk to God.

My life is also good in that I don't have so many things to distract me away
from God. Really, what do I have? No job, no family and not a lot of sources
of "entertainment". Of course, my computer could become a distraction from
God if I let it. But I don't let it. At least, not very often.

A third way that my life is good is that, because I can't do much of
anything on my own, I have had to learn to depend on God for things that
other people take for granted. Things like an itch I can't scratch so I have
to pray for the itch to go away. Or if I need a nurse, I often pray for one
to come. I could mention many more examples of praying to ask God to help me
with things that I can't do on my own but, I trust, you get the picture.

One more way that my life is good is that I see me being stuck in Long-term
Care as a way that God is protecting me from a lot of the pitfalls and
temptations that Christians "out there" struggle with. Things like marriage
problems, major financial difficulties, temptations for greed or gluttony or
whatever. Even from the mild persecution that Canadian Christians go
through. Most of the nurses are not Christians but they never, ever give me
a hard time about my faith.

However, there are plenty of bad things in my life. One thing is all the
time that I have. I know I mentioned the good aspect of having so much time
but it is also a challenge to find things to do to fill up the long hours
everyday. My days generally start around 6 am and don't end until after 10
so that is a lot of long hours to put in. Especially times when I can't be
using my computer.

This life is boring, mundane, tedious and routine with little variation. I
understand a place like Long-term Care has to have routine but it doesn't
make
for a very exciting life.

I lead a lonely life. For two reasons. First, I am lonely because I am alone
most of the time. The nurses don't have a lot of time to spend with me.
Aside from meals, getting me up and putting me to bed, I seldom see them.
Unless my computer acts up and I need help. But I am never really alone. God
is always with me. The second time I feel really lonely is when I am in a
crowd and can't take part in any of the conversations going on around me. To
be
honest, I would rather be alone with God than in a crowd because I feel so
left out.

Then there is the constant pain and discomfort. It is not something I like
to talk about but it does wear on a person. Thankfully, I am seldom in
severe pain but my neck is always stiff and sore, it seems like there is
always one part of my body or another that hurts and every little thing
causes me pain. A lot of things, at least.

Then there are days best described as ugly. There are days that I am glad
that I don't have the ability to speak or, out sheer frustration, I would
say something rude and sarcastic. Something I would regret later. There are
other ugly days that I cry all day. Everything makes me burst into tears. I
can't cry quietly so it must be really annoying. It is for me. However, the
good thing about my ugly days is they don't last . The next day, I usually
feel a lot better.

So there you have it. The good, bad and ugly of my life. 

Canada

Canada-One day, I was thinking what a blessing it is to live in a country
like Canada. Unfortunately, too often, we take it for granted. I know that I
do. This blog, then, is primarily just to express my appreciation for the
truly wonderful country that God has given us.

First, I am very thankful for the freedoms that we have in this country.
Never having lived in any other country but Canada, I know I can't really
understand what it must be like to live in a country that doesn't have the
freedoms that we, as Canadians, take for granted. What must it be like to to
live where you have to be so careful what you say for fear of being
arrested? Or not to be able to openly go to church to praise God?

I thank God that Canada is a peaceful country. Again, I have no concept of
what it would be like to live in a place that is at war and constantly being
bombed. When I was a small child, I remember my parents talking about WW II.
No doubt, they had certain privations to endure but it still wouldn't be the
same as actually living in a place under attack or occupied by the enemy.
But I am also thankful not to live in an aggressive nation that gets
involved in a lot of conflicts. With the high-powered equipment that they now
have for war, it is scary that young men from any country have to be
thrown into combat.

Canada is a prosperous nation. That is for sure. Unfortunately, I think
that, too often, we get caught up in comparing ourselves to other Canadians
who have more than we do and forget the many people in poorer countries who
have a whole lot less. We have an abundance of and a large variety of foods.
Contrast this with people who eat rice, rice and more rice. Still, too
often, nothing satisfies us . Too often, I find myself complaining about the
hospital food. Then I have to remind myself that there are lots of people in
this world who would think they had died and gone to heaven if they ever had
food like I get. Same with clothing and shelter. By Canadian standards, it
may not be the best. But, in the eyes of so many people in this world, we
are incredibly wealthy.

On a personal note, I am thankful for our health care system. Of course it
has flaws but, I sometimes think, if I had been born in a less developed
country, there is a good chance that I would not have even survived the
stroke.

I am glad to live in a country that supports Israel. I have read the Bible
enough to know that God is on the side of Israel. I figure that it is like
this. If God backs Israel and Canada backs Israel, doesn't it mean that God
backs Canada as well? Just a thought. Anyway, hopefully, Canada continues to
support Israel until Jesus returns!

In conclusion, I have no idea how God choses who will live where. I am just
awfully glad that He chose to put me in Canada!