Heaven

Heaven-Almost as soon as I finished my last blog, I knew that I would be
writing about Heaven. However, I had no idea what about Heaven. Afterall,
aside from a brief vision, I have never been there and, even though I have
heard quite a few stories of people who have died, gone to Heaven and then
come back to life, they seem to differ. So I really don't know what to
expect. But I do know why I want to go to Heaven. And why I don't want to to
go yet.

The main reason that I want to go to Heaven is to see Jesus in person. Yes,
I have seen Him briefly in a vision and, yes, He often speaks to me through
the Holy Spirit but it is not the same as seeing Him face to face and never
having to be apart from Jesus again. I have no idea what I will do or how I
will react but I do know that it will be a glorious day and my present
discomfort won't matter one iota.

I have to admit that, when I think of Heaven, the thought of no more pain
and suffering is mighty appealing. I can't even remember the time, before
the stroke, when I wasn't suffering. So I am really am looking forward to
Heaven in that respect. In the meantime, though, I just need to be thankful
that the suffering that I am experiencing at present is no more intense than
it is. Even the cancer symptoms haven't been that bad.

I will be able to sing in Heaven! Right now, when I want to sing to to the
Lord, whether at church or in Long-term Care, all that comes out are grunts
and groans. I know they mean just as much to the Lord as if I had the most
beautiful voice. Still, it will be so nice to be able to freely sing to the
Lord. But I expect to be doing that well before I get to Heaven!

In Heaven, I will be able to dance and raise my hands. At church,in
particular,it makes me feel bad when I see others dancing and/or raising
their hands while I have to sit there like a lump. But, once I get to
Heaven, nobody or nothing is going to stop me from praising the Lord any way
I want. However, I am sure I won't have to wait until I get to Heaven for
that.

A final reason I would like to go to Heaven is simply to see some people. I
have friends and relatives in Heaven and it would be lovely to see them and
chat with them again. But that can wait. They will still be there when I get
there. Whenever I get there.

However, there are also some reasons why I don't want to go to Heaven right
away.The most important one is that I believe that God still has a plan for
my life here on earth. I have no idea what that plan is. If I did, it would
probably blow my mind! I just know that I want to be around to see how all
this plays out.

I am not proud to admit this but there are days when I am extra weary, extra
frustrated and extra depressed. At times like that, I often pray that God
will let me die. (Fortunately, God hasn't answered that prayer) But, the
other day, I was thinking that it is really a very selfish prayer. When
there are so many lost people out there who, barring a change, are destined
for hell and when my healing might point some of  them to the right way,
Jesus, it would be extremely selfish to deny them that opportunity simply
because I don't want to suffer anymore

Even though I do want to go to Heaven , I simply don't want to die right now. I was 33 when I had the stroke. Now I am a lot older and I feel like there are a lot of things in this life that I would like to experience before I leave. However, I also know that, if Jesus called me to Heaven right away, none of those things would matter.

Finally, there are some people in this world that I would really hate to leave behind. Having said that, I know that, if Jesus wanted me in Heaven with Him right now, all those wonderful people probably wouldn't even cross my mind. Hopefully, I would be seeing them again before long.

My conclusion is this. My flesh (the human part of me) wants to be in Heaven with Jesus. However, my spirit (the born-again part of me) wants to do God's will. Heaven will have to wait until He is finished with me on this earth.