What I have Lost and What I have Gained

What I Have Lost And What I Have Gained-The idea for this blog came one
Sunday morning when I was sitting in a church service. I have no idea where
it came from as it has absolutely nothing to do with what the pastor was
preaching about. The thought came to me that I could write all the things
that I have lost and, also, the things that I have gained to replace the
lost things. I didn't dwell on it though. Instead, I resumed listening to
the pastor and, in my mind, resolved to think about it later.

The most obvious thing that I have lost is my health. Predominantly movement
and speech, though there are other issues as well. Not being able
to do anything, or at least most things, without help or communicate
effectively does make for a difficult, extremely frustrating life. On the
other hand, I often think that God has me right where He wants me. If He
wants to talk to me, I have no choice but to stay put and listen to Him.
Plus, I can't do all the talking. Another thing that I have gained from
losing my ability to move is that I depend on God to help me with a lot of
things that other people automatically do you themselves.

Through it all, I am thankful that God has enabled me to keep my sanity.
More or less. There are times, though, that I am sure that I am losing my
mind. At times like that, I console myself with the fact that, even if I
lose mind, God is able to find it again for me!

Another thing that I have lost is my family. At least my husband. When he
came to ask me for a divorce, I wasn't shattered but I was shocked. He had
always been there for me through all the things that I had already gone
through. But, now, I realize that I just traded in my natural husband for a
better Heavenly One. Jesus will always be there for me, come what may. I
never entirely lost my kids. They stay in touch and, occasionally, come to
Cold Lake for a visit. But what I do feel I have lost is a lot of years with
my kids while they were growing up. I am not sure how God can replace all
those lost years but, once I am healed, will it really matter? As for
siblings, I only had contact with one sister before the stroke. I still
correspond with her so I really didn't lose anything. But I have gained a
lot more siblings. When I became a born-again Christian, I became part of
God's family and He has lots of kids. So I have millions of siblings all
over the world.

I also lost almost all the friends I had before the stroke. The only three
that I am still in touch with are two ladies that I knew at university and
one lady that I taught with way back when. But, since I became a Christian,
I have made new friends. But, best of all, I now have the greatest Friend of
all in Jesus. Human friends will, from time to time, let me down but He
never will.

Another loss has been my home. Since the stroke, I have been in hospital in Edmonton, then hospital here in Cold Lake, back to hospital in Edmonton, back to hospital in Cold Lake and, finally, to Long-term Care where I have been for years. I refuse to call this place home, though. Eventually, I will have my own home again but what I am really looking forward to is the one I gained when I became a born-again Christian. My eternal home in Heaven.

Finally, I lost my career. I started teaching when I was 22 and continued until the stroke forced me to "retire" at the ripe old age of 33. At first, I missed it a lot but, now that I am at normal retirement age, that part of my life has pretty much faded into the background. I don't know what I have gained to replace my career but I do know that, as a born-again Christian, God has plans for me and will reveal them when the time is right.

In conclusion, yes, I have lost a lot. At least by the world's standard. But, by God's standard, when I became a born-again Christian, I gained so much more spiritually.