Someday

-I know that we are told that the past is past and we may not have a
tomorrow so to concentrate on the now but, for me, if I keep focus on my
present circumstances, I will go stark, raving mad. Thinking about "someday"
helps me to keep going.

Someday, I will be able to move freely like other people. I will be able to
clap and dance at church all I want. I will be able to read real books,
including the Bible, instead of always reading on the computer. And,
speaking of the computer, I will be able to use it the same as everybody
else does . Which means a whole lot faster. If I want to, I can even learn
how to use all these other electronic gadgets. That, though, is a big "if"!
I will be able to feed myself and eat whatever I want. The list could go on
and on. Right now, all I do is dream about those things but, someday, it
won't be a dream.

Someday, I will be able to speak just like everybody else. No more speech
board. While I am grateful to have some means of communication, it is SOOO
frustrating-both for me and everybody else. No more constantly being
misunderstood. I wonder if Jesus found it as frustrating as I do to always
be misunderstood? No more saying sarcastic things and then having to spell
out that
I was being sarcastic. The speech board has cut down on my sarcasm. A good
thing, no doubt. Best of all,I  will be having real, lengthy conversations.
A
dream right now but it won't always be.

Someday, I won't have to depend on other people for absolutely everything.
Right now, I have to depend on the nurses for all my personal care plus all
sorts of other things. I even have to depend on the nurses to scratch my
head when it gets itchy! I have to depend on other people from the church to
get me there. My computer does allow me a certain amount of independence as
I can contact people without depending on someone else to contact them for
me. However, if my computer is down and  I can't e-mail, I have to depend on
someone else to contact my computer tech.  But, someday, all the depending
on other people will over.

Someday, I  will leave Long-term Care and never come back. I admit that,
each time I go out, I dread coming back. Not that it is a bad place with
ogres for nurses or anything like that but it just has been so long. I used
to hate being in hospital for a few days. Imagine 30+ years! Though
Long-term Care is not like a regular hospital. But it is not like being at
home, either. The good thing about being in Long-term is that it has given
me an understanding of and compassion for seniors. I have also gained a real
appreciation for people who work in places like this. But enough is enough!

Of course, the ultimate "someday" for all Christians, including me, is
Heaven. Until then, though, we all have to cope with our earthly lot in
life, no matter what is. For me, it is easier to cope if I focus on
"someday" rather than the negative circumstances I live with.