This Is What You Do

This Is What You Do-This, actually, is the title of a song. And, obviously,
"You" is Jesus.

You save. The number one thing that You do. Because You died on the cross so
long ago, the way has been opened for anybody, myself included, to go to
Heaven after we die. I know I am sure glad that I will be living FOREVER
with You and not in the other place. The one condition You have is that we
believe in You and become born-again (repent of our sins and ask You to come
into our heart). In this blog, I will mention other things that You do for
us but, if all You did is save us from hell, it would be enough. No matter
bad our circumstances in this life may be, the length of life on earth is
pretty miniscule compared to living in Heaven forever and ever.

You heal. You are the Great Physician. In the Bible, You healed lots of
people. The Bible also says that You, Jesus, are the same yesterday, today
and forever. So, if You healed in the Bible, You still heal today. Only now
through the Holy Spirit rather than in person. As somebody who has been has
been waiting for my major healing for a long time, though I have had minor
healings, I have come to understand that Your timing and method probably
won't be what we want.

You love. Nobody, including me, is able to comprehend Your great love.
However, I am thankful that Your mighty love doesn't change. 'Cause there
are days that, by human standards, I am anything but loveable! Thankfully, You
love by who you are and not by we do or don't do. And Your love is everlasting. All human love will eventually end. At death, if not before. But Your love just goes on and on and on. Aside from salvation, perhaps Your greatest gift to us is Your incredible love.

You protect. I have heard numerous stories about how people have avoided an accident by listening to the Holy Spirit when He tells them to go another way, take another plane or whatever. For myself, personally , I believe that You are protecting me by having me in Long-term Care. It is not very exciting but it does shelter me from many of the pitfalls that people "out there" face.

You comfort. I am sure the there are many Christians who look to You for comfort that only You can give. People mean well but, unless they have been through exactly the same situation, how can they know the right words to say to bring comfort? I don't know of anybody who is in the same situation that I am. When I need comfort, quite frequently, I have come to understand that, much as they may want to say something to comfort me, they can't. Simply because other people have never been through what I am going through. I look to You for comfort when I need it. Usually in the Bible. That is how You talk to me (us).

You lead. I am in a situation where I don't have a lot of major decisions to make. Most have them have been made for me. However, I know that plenty of people depend on You for decisions like where to live, what job to do, who to marry or what church to go. I am still lead by You, though. Only, for me, it is more like who to give money to or how much to give. Or, maybe You lead me to pray for somebody . Stuff like that.

I only mentioned a few things that You do. All I can say is "Thank You, Jesus!". 

The Holy Spirit and Me

The Holy Spirit And Me-I had been thinking about writing about the Holy
Spirit when it was "suggested" to me that I write about the emotional
turmoil that I am in right now. In the meantime, we had a sermon about the
Holy Spirit at church about the Holy Spirit. I find that happens quite
often. I hear at church the same thing that I either plan to write on or
have just written about. Anyway, I thought I would share some ways that the
Holy Spirit is helping me through this ordeal.

The Bible speaks of the Holy Spirit as the Helper. Being as there is very
little that I can do on my own and being that, many times, there is no
person around to help me, I have learned to depend on the Holy Spirit for a
lot. The one area I especially use the Holy Spirit a lot. That is to remind
me of things. I can't put in in my phone and expect the phone to remind me!
When I have something that I want to remember, I simply ask the Holy Spirit
to remind me and He always does. There are times that I need a nurse but,
because l can't use a call bell, I have no way to get hold of one. Usually,
I just holler until one of them hears me. There have been times, though,
that I have asked the Holy Spirit to send somebody and He has. There are
more ways that I depend on the Holy Spirit for help but I just mention one
more. These blogs. First of all, I depend on the Holy Spirit to give me a
topic to write about and He does. Though it may not be what I would have
chosen for myself. Then, I really depend on Him for the words to say.
Sometimes, in my mind, I do have an outline of points I want to make but I
depend on the Holy Spirit to fill in that outline. Other times, I may just
have a title. I start writing and the Holy Spirit supplies the words,

However, the Amplifed version of the Bible uses a few other words to
describe the Holy Spirit. I think that I will mention each one and how they
relate to me. The first word is Comforter. I will be honest, there are times
that I feel like, most of all, I just need somebody to comfort me. At those
times, I am so tempted to e-mail somebody and see if that person has any
comfort for me. I don't, though, for two reasons. First, most times, I don't
have the energy to write an e-mail and, more importantly, how can I expect
people who have never been through what I am going through to give me the
comfort that I long for? Only the Holy Spirit can do that. There are plenty
of times, when I am crying and upset, that I feel the presence of the Holy
Spirit very strongly.

Another word used is Advocate. An advocate is somebody who pleads or speaks
for somebody else. I know that  God knows my situation and has it all under
control but it still blesses me me to think that the Holy Spirit is
advocating, or putting in a good word for me.

Somewhat related . The Holy Spirit is also called the Intercessor. An intercessor also pleads for somebody. Only the word intercessor implies an element of prayer. I have read that Jesus prays for us but I never thought that the Holy Spirit was praying for me as well. Wow! Can't beat that! Human prayer is great but They know exactly what to pray.

The Holy Spirit is the Counselor. He gives advice, guides and directs. I may not have the major decisions that other people do, like where to live or who to marry, but I still need His advice and direction. For example. I did not want to write these blogs but I asked the Holy Spirit and He "advised" me to do. Now I depend on His guidance for a topic and what to write about that topic.

The Holy Spirit is the Strengthener. If there is anything I need right now it strength. Strength just to get through each day. But I know that, in myself, I don't have the strength it takes. The Holy Spirit does, though. I don't know how  but, somehow He has gotten me through all these years and will continue to be my Strengthener until the end.

The key to all this, though, is He is our Standby. He is always on alert, waiting for us to ask for His help. But, if we don't, He will let us muddle along on our own. Until we get ourselves in such a mess that we cry out to Him for help. Then He is right there.

As I was writing this, I realized something. Yes, I do access the Holy Spirit more than some people. Simply because, on my own. I can't do things most people take for granted. However, I realized I could, and should, be asking for help from the Holy Spirit a LOT more often. 

Living With Cancer

Living With Cancer-Or maybe I should say "existing" with cancer. To be
honest, since the stroke, I have never felt like I am really living. Many
times, I have told God that I am tired of this half-life. Be that as it may,
cancer is part of who I am right now.

I was diagnosed with breast cancer a year ago. I admit that it bothered me at
first (and still does if I let it) that the doctors couldn't make up their
minds how to treat the cancer until it had spread and any kind of treatment
was not an option. Since then, though, I have come to understand that this
is exactly the way God wanted it and He simply used those doctors to bring
it about. If the cancer had been treated, once the cancer is gone, the
doctors could have claimed that it is because of something they did. This
way, they can't take the credit.

It has been an extremely difficult year for me. Every year since the stroke
has been difficult but now, with the cancer, even more so. Aside from some
symptoms, physically it hasn't been that much worse than before the cancer.
Whether or not the symptoms get worse before they get better remains to be
seen.

However, the cancer has taken a toll on me emotionally. First hearing that I
had the dreaded "c"  word was emotionally unsettling. Then finding out that
it couldn't be treated was another curve ball thrown my way. I have to
admit, though, that I received the news pretty calmly. Because I know my
life is in God's hands and, no matter what doctors say, it won't end until
He is ready to take me to Heaven. But what has been really hard on me has
been the constant waiting. Truth is I am not even too sure what I am waiting
for. I just know I am waiting for something and not knowing is driving me
crazy. I don't like the person I have become. Because I am so worn out,
partly from a mind that won't shut down, I am some irritable. Unfortunately,
the nurses usually get the brunt of it, simply because they have to be
around me in my everyday life. So I don't get frustrated with them even more
often, I spend most of the time in my room puttering on my computer. And I
usually don't use my speech board unless necessary. I know how quickly I get
frustrated if the other person can't understand what I am trying to say.

Nobody has come out and said it but I know that, as far as medical science
is concerned, I have been left here to die. I don't believe I will die but, of
course, God has the final say in that. Still , it is a depressing thought. Ever since I had the stroke, I have struggled with spells of depression. Fortunately, I have been able to shrug them off pretty quickly. But now, with the cancer on top of everything else, it is not so easy. Too often lately, I don't even have the energy to not be depressed. Does that make any sense?

I sometimes wonder how unsaved people live with cancer. I am  a born-again Christian so I know I will be great. No matter what happens. However, I still have trouble coping. Mostly, I think because cancer is such a long, drawn-out process.

I admit that, when I was given this title, I argued with God. The last thing I wanted to do is write about the cancer AGAIN. But, of course, I lost the argument. Perhaps writing this blog was more for my own benefit. Putting at least some of my muddled thoughts into words has, I think, helped to clarify them for me. 

Jesus Restores

Jesus Restores-One thing the Bible teaches is that Jesus came to restore.
Using the meaning of restore as "to bring back to the original condition",
there are definitely some things in my life that need to be restored.

First, though, I want to mention one thing that Jesus has already restored.
My relationship with God. Because of Adam and Eve, we all are born separated
from God. However, once we receive Jesus into our heart and become
born-again Christians, the separation is gone. Because I am a born-again
Christian, God is my Father and I am God's child. Along with being His child
come all the attendant privileges.

The most obvious way that Jesus needs to restore my life to its original
condition is in the physical realm. When God first made me, I was designed
to be able to walk, to talk and not have cancer. But, somewhere along the
line, everything went haywire and, at present, I cannot walk, I cannot talk
and they say that I have cancer. No doctor can restore me to my original
condition. Only Jesus can. And will. In His time and way.

I need Jesus to restore my mind. I know that my mind is still pretty sharp
considering all I have been though. Still, I don't feel like it is
quite as good as before . I know that Jesus can, and will, bring my mind
back to its original condition.

I need Jesus to restore my home. Right now, I have no home. Just a room in
Long-term Care. Painted a really blah color. But someday, thanks to Jesus
and His restoring power, I will have my own home and I will be able to do
with it what I want.

I need Jesus to restore relationships. Not my marriage. That is over and done with. But, while I do still have contact with my kids, they were so little when I had the stroke that we never did have much of a relationship. Now that they are adults, that relationship needs to be restored. Or maybe I should say established. Before the stroke, I had lots of friends, both colleagues from teaching and otherwise. They have all fallen by the wayside but it would be nice to have at least some of those relationships restored. One specific relationship that I need Jesus to restore is with my oldest sister. I am in touch with my two other sisters but not her and I don't know how to reconnect.

At present, I need Jesus to restore the joy of my salvation. When I first got saved, I was so full of joy and excitement that I barely noticed all the negative circumstances. But long year after long year with the same, or even worse circumstances, seems to have seriously depleted my supply of joy. I keep telling myself that the joy is there somewhere. Put it this way. That joy used bubble over anytime. Now, though, it is more of an act of my will. If I produce it at all.

I will just mention something my pastor said this past Sunday. He said that Jesus died on the cross to restore our authority. Authority over sickness and authority over financial and other problems. Once we get born-again, we have the same authority that Jesus had.  Trouble is, most of us don't use it like He does.

I have lost a lot. And I mean a LOT. But one thing that excites me is speculating on how God is going to restore me to my original condition. Especially my health. 

To Be or Not To Be

 To Be Or Not To Be-God gave me this title bit nothing else. So what I
write about will be news to me as well.

The first thing I thought is that none of us really has the choice of
whether to be a Christian or not. God, for reasons known only to Himself,
calls and draws to Himself those He wants to be born-again Christians.

However, after our salvation we do have some choices whether To Be or Not To
Be. The first choice is whether to be a person that puts God first in
EVERYTHING or to be a person who doesn't put God first. A Not To Be who
merely fits God into the rest of their life. I do try to put God first as
much as possible. I don't do anything else on my computer until I have
finished my Bible reading. And I never miss choice if at all possible to be
there.

Secondly,people who really want to be for God make church attendance a
priority. I know that I do. I know that God may speak through the pastor
something that I need to hear and I don't want to miss it. Plus, at church,
I get prayer and encouragement from other Christians, something I badly need
right now. Contrast this with the Not To Be sort of Christian who sees
church as a hit or miss proposition. They come to church when it fits their
personal schedule but they don't adapt their schedules around church like
those who want to be for God do.

The Christians who want to be for God put what the Bible says ahead of
anything else. Ahead of what their feelings are telling them and also ahead
of what other people, including preachers, tell them. That is why To Be sort
of Christians make a point of knowing their Bibles well. On the other hand, there are some Christians who spend very little, if any, in the Bible. Consequently, because they don't really know what God says, they are more prone to believe anything that is told to them. Accurate or not. I can honestly say that I have spent enough time reading the Bible that I SHOULD know if something I hear lines up with the Bible or not.

To Be sort of Christians have God as the center of their life 24/7. Not just on Sunday. It doesn't mean that they don't do everyday things like work, being a mom, etc. It just means that they also make time for things like Bible reading, praying, etc. on a daily basis. But that is not all Christians. There are those that seem to park God at the church door. They take God with them to church but, once the service is over, park God again until the next Sunday. During the week, they don't give God much of a thought. I have often thought that my circumstances probably make it easier to remain God centered most of the time.

One other difference between To Be and Not To Be Christians is the focus that they have on Heaven. The To Bes understand that this life is just temporary. They know that we are headed for a better place after we die and live accordingly. My circumstances, especially the cancer, have given me an eternal perspective but I also understand that, for most Christians, it would be easy to slip into a Not To Be way of life. So caught up with earthly affairs that they forget about what is yet to come.

I better clarify. This is not about Heaven or hell. When we get born-again, we all destined for Heaven, no matter what we do or don't do. It is about living in a way that pleases God before we die and go to Heaven. 

Father Knows Best

Father Knows Best-I am showing my age but, years ago, there was a show on tv
called Father Knows Best. That phrase is pretty much the theme of my life
right now. "Father (God)Knows Best "

"Father Knows Best" in our circumstances. We all, from time to time,
encounter circumstances that we would rather not have. Obviously, that is
true in my life. I certainly don't want to be unable to walk or talk. Being
diagnosed with cancer on top of everything else seemed to be the last straw.
I could not see anything good arising from the cancer but there have been some
good things. At first, I was close to panic which drove me even closer to
God. Now, I am calmer about the situation. However, I am still closer to
God. I don't know what the future holds but I do know it will turn out in
the way that will be best for me. Other people face all sorts of trying
circumstances. But it helps us all if we can remember that "Father Knows
Best" rather than murmuring and complaining.

"Father Knows Best" in our needs. I have learned over the years that what we
see as needs may be, in God's eyes, be merely a want. The rule of thumb that
I go by is this. If God sees something as a real need, we will have it.
Maybe not when we want but it will be there. So I know that God knows better
than I do what I really need.

"Father Knows Best" in our desires. At least for me. I honestly don't know
what I desire. At one time, all I wanted was to walk, talk and live a normal
life here on earth. But, now. after the cancer diagnosis, I am not so sure.
Now, when I read about God giving us our desires, I defer to God as I know
He knows better than I do what I desire.

"Father Knows Best" in timing for prayers being answered. When I pray, I
would like an answer to that prayer right away. But, over the years, I have
learned God's timing is not the same as human timing. If I fret because my
prayers are not being answered as quickly as I would like, I just end up
discouraged and depressed. So I am making the effort, not always easily, to
relax and let God work in His time.

"Father Knows Best" in the method for prayers getting answered. Most people, me anyway, have preconceived ideas of how we want our prayers answered. For instance, I often think that the way I would like to be healed is by going to bed one night and waking up healed the next morning. Wouldn't that be dandy? However, God, and God alone, knows the best way to answer our prayers. So our part is to just be still and allow God to accomplish things in His way.

"Father Knows Best" in the place He chooses for us to live. I have no idea why God has some of us living in a wonderful, prosperous country like Canada and others in poverty-stricken or war-torn nations of the world. All I can do is say Thank You and trust that He has His reasons.

"Father Knows Best" in when we were born. I would have liked to have been born somewhat earlier before all this technology and everything became so impersonal. Still, Father God knew that I was going need a certain amount of technology in order to develop my relationship with Him. I can't imagine not having a way to read the Bible. This is a pretty messed up world right now. A much simpler past seems mighty appealing but, perhaps, we were born for a time such as this. Who knows. Maybe we are in the world right now to help unmess it! Anyway, when we are born is entirely up to God so we may as well make up our minds to be happy about it.

The conclusion. "Father (God) Knows Best" in EVERYTHING so it is in our best interest to defer to Him in all things. 

Blogs

Blogs-Out of curiosity, I checked to see how many blogs I have written. To
my surprise, this one is my 167th one! That is a lot of hours that I have
spent writing blogs. But they also have filled up lots of long hours for me.

When the idea of writing a blog was presented to me, to be honest, I didn't
even know what a blog was, though I was pretty sure that it had something to
do with computers. (I am technology "challenged" and I like it that way.) After finding out for sure what a blog is, I definitely
declined. I have really come to enjoy writing these blogs, so thankfully I
have friends who would not take no for an answer. After much persuasion,
more like nagging, I agreed to pray about it.

One thing that I have learned over the years is that, when I say that I am
going to pray about something, I need to do it as soon as possible so it doesn't
slip my mind and I end up not keeping my word. So I took it to the Lord as
soon as I could. To my chagrin, I felt that He wanted me to start writing a
blog. Somebody suggested a daily blog but writing anything takes a long
time. I would never get anything else done if I did that so I settled for a
weekly blog. Anyway, these blogs started out as an act of obedience to God
rather than something that I wanted to do.

Once it was settled in my mind that I was going to write the blogs, it was a
question of what of what on earth I was going to write about. With help
from the Holy Spirit, I decided that a good starting point was my incredible
testimony. So I wrote it and a few more blogs. But, one day, I felt that the
Holy Spirit was asking me to open up a bit about myself. Hold on. I never
agreed to this. I am a very private person and not at all comfortable with
letting other people see into my life. It was difficult at first but I made
myself do it as an act of obedience to God. Little by little it got easier and
now I have no trouble opening up about myself.

Over the years, I have written blogs on all sorts of topics, from my personal history to how wonderful God is. And all sorts of things have inspired them but my primary aim, along with obedience, has always been to point people to my wonderful God. I can't even take credit for what I write. Although I usually have a general idea what I want to write about, once I start writing, some of the things that come out are news to me too or, if I knew it, didn't think of it. Obviously, the Holy Spirit is using these blogs to speak to me along with other people.

That went on until I was diagnosed with breast cancer and eventually told that the cancer couldn't be treated. Since then, I have noticed that my blogs have changed a little. I know that God is the only One who can help me so I am even more focused on Him. I am sure the blogs reflect it. I also know that, at times, the Holy Spirit uses the blogs as a means of encouraging me. Right now, I am in a situation where I need lots of encouraging. While I sure hope that other people get something out these blogs, I have to admit that I am using them to keep myself encouraged and "hanging in there". Writing keeps depression and fear at bay, especially when it is focused on God.

I have been thinking that I should go back and reread the blogs. People often say that they are inspiring so that might be another way of encouraging myself. I remember years ago at church, I was given a word from God to use what I have. Not understanding, I promptly forgot it. Now, though, I wonder if He was referring to using my computer to share my life and beliefs in these blogs.