A "Cheery" Aspect-The thought came to my mind that, recently, my blogs,
though totally realistic, have not been very "cheery". But, then, there is
not a whole lot of "cheery" going on in my life right now. However, there
are bits and pieces and moments of "cheery".
No matter what brings it on, laughing always makes me feel "cheery". It is
pretty hard to laugh and be depressed at the same time. Different things
make me laugh. When I laugh, quite often it is with the nurses, many times
over some trivial incident. But laughing brightens up my day. I am sure it
does for the nurses as well as they have a hard job in a place that hasn't a
whole lot of "cheery" in it. I also laugh at church. Sometimes, the pastor
or some other speaker comes out with something that makes the whole church,
including me, laugh. Then there are other people who make me laugh. I have
one friend who, even when I am crying, will say something so stupid that I
just have to laugh. Perhaps, though,the people that I laugh most around are
my sweet little grandkids. I love the innocent things they say and do. One
thing that can always make me laugh is hearing a baby laugh. Their laughs
are so hearty.
Another thing that adds a bit of "cheery" to the monotony of my life are
surprises. Good ones, of course. I have had plenty of the other kind.
Sometimes it is as simple as a nurse, or somebody else, bringing me a little
treat such as a Tim Horton's coffee or home baking, etc. I am always cheered
up by visitors of any kind but, especially, surprise visitors or ones that I
don't see often. Last year, I had a surprise visit from my ex-husband's
brother and his wife. They live in Ontario but were in western Canada so
they made a special trip to Cold Lake to see me. That certainly was a
"cheery" surprise. I also had several visits from a couple of ladies who
were friends of mine in university. Obviously OLD friends! The same is true
of e-mails. Getting a surprise e-mail (as long as it is a good one) adds a
bit of "cheery" to my life.
Speaking of e-mails, receiving e-mails can really boost up my spirits. Quite
a number of the e-mails that I receive are devotionals that I enjoy reading.
However, what really adds "cheery" are personal e-mails,. Especially from my
kids.
One major source of "cheery" in my life are my grandchildren. I don't see
my real grandson in person very often. However, I look forward to skype
visits and watching the little imp. But I do get to see my "adopted"
grandchildren often and, invariably, their sunny smiles brings lots of
"cheery" into my day. No matter how bleak and dismal it may seem. They often
make me laugh which, as I mentioned earlier, brings "cheery" into my life.
One last occurrence that brings a glimpse of "cheery" into my day-to-day
existence can be my thoughts. A lot of my thought life seems to be a
struggle to keep my thoughts focused on God and His promises rather than on
all the negative circumstances. Occasionally, though, my thoughts drift onto
something that brings some "cheery" into my day. One is when I start
thinking about Heaven. Just thinking about being with Jesus and with no more
pain and suffering has to make me happy. Trouble is, I don't have those
thoughts often enough. Other times, my thoughts drift onto pleasant
memories. Perhaps, from my childhood, when my kids were little, my
university days, etc.
I don't have much happy in my life at present but I also have to admit that,
for all of us, we can always find something positive in any situation if we
try hard enough. A lot of times, I am probably guilty of not looking past my
negative circumstances to see the good things in my life.
Me
At the beloved/hated writing vessel
Thursday, 27 July 2017
Wednesday, 19 July 2017
Keys to Survival
Keys To Survival-My life is not easy. That goes without saying. However,
over the long, difficult years, God has given me certain keys to help me to
survive this ordeal. And, when it is finally over, I know that I come forth
a much better person for this trial.
The one key that may be most helping me to survive is my determination or,
if you like, stubbornness. I like to think that God put this determination
in me because He knew that I was going to need it. Many times, the thought
comes to me that this is too hard and to give up. But there is something in
me that just won't let me quit. In fact,the more frequently those thoughts come
the more determined I am not to give in to them. Besides, I often have this
thought. If I give up, how would my life be any better? I would still be
unable to move or talk, have symptoms of cancer and without the hope I now
have.
Having established that my determination has played a big part in my still
being in the game, God has given me some things, or keys, to aid me in my
battle. The first, and most important, is the Bible, or Word of God. When I
am feeling desperate and with nobody to turn to I turn to the Bible. It
encourages me to hold on as it gives me strength and courage to face what I
have to face everyday and hope, both for healing in this life and for my
final destination in Heaven. I doubt I would still be here without the
Bible.
Another important key that God has given to me is prayer. Of course, there
are times of formal prayer. At church or before I go to sleep at night. To
be honest, though, most of my prayer is, in my mind simply talking to God
as if He were standing right beside me. Sometimes, it is simply to praise
Him for how good He is all the time. Both good and bad times. At other
times, though, I catch myself complaining to Him. At times like that, I am
always thankful that His shoulders are broad enough to take it. It has
become such a habit for me to talk to God in my mind that I sometimes catch
myself talking to Him at church or on some other outing. Without the outlet
of talking to God whenever I want, I not sure I could have lasted all these
years.
One other key that I consider vital to my survival is the presence of the
Holy Spirit. I depend on Him for EVERYTHING. Almost every day, before I get
up, I ask the Holy Spirit to get me through the day and He always
does-somehow. Times when I am crying and upset, I often feel the presence of
the Holy Spirit most. When other people can't calm me down, His presence
usually can. When I want to remember something, I tell the Holy Spirit to
remind me and He always does. And so on and so on.
Church. I suppose that if I had to, I could survive without church. As long as I still had the Bible, Holy Spirit and could still pray. However, church is very, very important to me. It is a break from the dismal atmosphere in Long-term Care to be in an atmosphere where everyone is praising God. Plus, I truly believe that, through the pastor, God may speak something that I need to hear. For that reason, I never have to.
Another thing that is a key to my survival is my music. Like church, probably not vital but very, very important. I keep mentioning my music but it really does help me to cope. Primarily, by keeping my focus on God more than on my depressing circumstances. And the music keeps the dismal atmosphere of Long-term Care out of my room.
A final key to my sticking with it are visitors and outings. I know that I could live without them but they do make my tedious, day-to-day life a lot more pleasant. One reason that I value them so much is that, for a little while, they take my mind of the difficult circumstances I am bombarded with everyday.
These are some important keys to me "hanging in there". However, the most important, and vital key, is simply God and His will. I know I am in this situation because it is the will of God for me right now. God will keep me in it as long as I continue to trust Him.
over the long, difficult years, God has given me certain keys to help me to
survive this ordeal. And, when it is finally over, I know that I come forth
a much better person for this trial.
The one key that may be most helping me to survive is my determination or,
if you like, stubbornness. I like to think that God put this determination
in me because He knew that I was going to need it. Many times, the thought
comes to me that this is too hard and to give up. But there is something in
me that just won't let me quit. In fact,the more frequently those thoughts come
the more determined I am not to give in to them. Besides, I often have this
thought. If I give up, how would my life be any better? I would still be
unable to move or talk, have symptoms of cancer and without the hope I now
have.
Having established that my determination has played a big part in my still
being in the game, God has given me some things, or keys, to aid me in my
battle. The first, and most important, is the Bible, or Word of God. When I
am feeling desperate and with nobody to turn to I turn to the Bible. It
encourages me to hold on as it gives me strength and courage to face what I
have to face everyday and hope, both for healing in this life and for my
final destination in Heaven. I doubt I would still be here without the
Bible.
Another important key that God has given to me is prayer. Of course, there
are times of formal prayer. At church or before I go to sleep at night. To
be honest, though, most of my prayer is, in my mind simply talking to God
as if He were standing right beside me. Sometimes, it is simply to praise
Him for how good He is all the time. Both good and bad times. At other
times, though, I catch myself complaining to Him. At times like that, I am
always thankful that His shoulders are broad enough to take it. It has
become such a habit for me to talk to God in my mind that I sometimes catch
myself talking to Him at church or on some other outing. Without the outlet
of talking to God whenever I want, I not sure I could have lasted all these
years.
One other key that I consider vital to my survival is the presence of the
Holy Spirit. I depend on Him for EVERYTHING. Almost every day, before I get
up, I ask the Holy Spirit to get me through the day and He always
does-somehow. Times when I am crying and upset, I often feel the presence of
the Holy Spirit most. When other people can't calm me down, His presence
usually can. When I want to remember something, I tell the Holy Spirit to
remind me and He always does. And so on and so on.
Church. I suppose that if I had to, I could survive without church. As long as I still had the Bible, Holy Spirit and could still pray. However, church is very, very important to me. It is a break from the dismal atmosphere in Long-term Care to be in an atmosphere where everyone is praising God. Plus, I truly believe that, through the pastor, God may speak something that I need to hear. For that reason, I never have to.
Another thing that is a key to my survival is my music. Like church, probably not vital but very, very important. I keep mentioning my music but it really does help me to cope. Primarily, by keeping my focus on God more than on my depressing circumstances. And the music keeps the dismal atmosphere of Long-term Care out of my room.
A final key to my sticking with it are visitors and outings. I know that I could live without them but they do make my tedious, day-to-day life a lot more pleasant. One reason that I value them so much is that, for a little while, they take my mind of the difficult circumstances I am bombarded with everyday.
These are some important keys to me "hanging in there". However, the most important, and vital key, is simply God and His will. I know I am in this situation because it is the will of God for me right now. God will keep me in it as long as I continue to trust Him.
Thursday, 13 July 2017
Disappointments
Disappointments-During this seemingly endless journey that I am on, I have
met with plenty of disappointments along the way. Not that disappointments
are unique to my situation. In this life, most, if not all, of us are going
have to face disappointments of one kind or another.
My initial disappointment after my salvation was not being healed right
away. At the time of my dramatic salvation, I was totally convinced that I
would be restored to perfect health. However, being a brand new Christian,
I believed that it would happen any day. Perhaps any minute. But as time went
on and nothing changed, I was disappointed. It didn't deter me, though.
After so many years my hope in supernatural healing is just as strong. It
may have wavered a tiny bit with the cancer diagnosis but not for long. If
anything, the cancer has made me cling even more to God and His promises.
Over the years, disappointments have come and gone, most of which I have
forgotten. But there is one disappointment that stands out in my mind. It
was perhaps in the early 1990s. Our church had a missions trip to Mexico
planned. I really thought the Lord told me that I would be going. So I
bought a lot of things and got ready to go. I was so disappointed when my
healing didn't materialize. Now I understand that I hadn't been hearing from
God at all. Since then, my faith, though just as strong, seems to have lost
some of its childlike, "believe anything" quality.
I can think of three ways that I have been disappointed. In God, in other
people and in myself. I admit that I have been disappointed in God. Not so
much lately but earlier in my Christian walk. I had this preconceived idea
that He would manifest my healing in the way I wanted at the time I wanted.
And, when it didn't happen , I was so disappointed. Now, though, I
understand that God doesn't work in the same way as humans do. He always
keeps His promises but it probably won't be in the time we want or ways that
we expect. It has finally gotten through to me that God is calling the shots
and my part is simply to believe that this will all turn out in a way that
is best for me. Plus, of course, to continue to read the Bible , pray and never,
ever give up!
I confess that I have been disappointed in other people. When I first came
to my church, I assumed that people would be practically falling over
themselves wanting to spend time with me and get to know me. When it didn't
happen, I was hurt and disappointed. However, as the years have passed by I
have come to understand some things that helped to dissipate the
disappointment . First of all, I have often thought about what I would do if
somebody else were in my situation and I was in good health. In all
honesty.I doubt that I would be spending much time with that person
Secondly, I have come to understand that people have jobs and other
commitments that prevent people from spending time with me. Mostly, though,
I have come to understand that I need to spend time alone with God. No
matter how spiritual a person is., conversation with that person can never
replace fellowship with God. Instead of being disappointed because more
people don't spend time with me, I am trying to be thankful for those that
do.
As much as anything, I have been disappointed in myself. At times I still
am. When I was first saved, like all new Christians, I was bubbly and full of
joy. I didn't know much but I sure was happy. But, as the years rolled by
with no apparent change in my circumstances, I lost a lot of my outer joy. I
have become tired, irritable, impatient and, at times, angry. Not at all the
way a Christian should be acting. And, when I don't act the way I think, as
a Christian, I should act, I get disappointed with myself.
As I was thinking about disappointments in my life, I realized that I often
sat myself up for disappointments simply because of unrealistic
expectations. When I first became a born-again Christian, I thought of God
as kind of a sugar daddy in the sky who would give me what I want when I
want it. Of course, that unrealistic expectation lead to disappointment. And
I have had totally unrealistic expectations of other Christians. I have
expected them to meet needs of mine that only God can meet. But I have also
probablyhave had unrealistic expectations of myself. I expect myself to always be
happy and upbeat. But, considering that I have been unable to walk or talk
and in a hospital for 34 years plus, now, I am trying to stand against
cancer, perhaps that is an unrealistic expectation.
No matter how the disappointment comes, I think it is important that we
don't dwell on it. Rather, shrug it off and just keep on keeping on!
met with plenty of disappointments along the way. Not that disappointments
are unique to my situation. In this life, most, if not all, of us are going
have to face disappointments of one kind or another.
My initial disappointment after my salvation was not being healed right
away. At the time of my dramatic salvation, I was totally convinced that I
would be restored to perfect health. However, being a brand new Christian,
I believed that it would happen any day. Perhaps any minute. But as time went
on and nothing changed, I was disappointed. It didn't deter me, though.
After so many years my hope in supernatural healing is just as strong. It
may have wavered a tiny bit with the cancer diagnosis but not for long. If
anything, the cancer has made me cling even more to God and His promises.
Over the years, disappointments have come and gone, most of which I have
forgotten. But there is one disappointment that stands out in my mind. It
was perhaps in the early 1990s. Our church had a missions trip to Mexico
planned. I really thought the Lord told me that I would be going. So I
bought a lot of things and got ready to go. I was so disappointed when my
healing didn't materialize. Now I understand that I hadn't been hearing from
God at all. Since then, my faith, though just as strong, seems to have lost
some of its childlike, "believe anything" quality.
I can think of three ways that I have been disappointed. In God, in other
people and in myself. I admit that I have been disappointed in God. Not so
much lately but earlier in my Christian walk. I had this preconceived idea
that He would manifest my healing in the way I wanted at the time I wanted.
And, when it didn't happen , I was so disappointed. Now, though, I
understand that God doesn't work in the same way as humans do. He always
keeps His promises but it probably won't be in the time we want or ways that
we expect. It has finally gotten through to me that God is calling the shots
and my part is simply to believe that this will all turn out in a way that
is best for me. Plus, of course, to continue to read the Bible , pray and never,
ever give up!
I confess that I have been disappointed in other people. When I first came
to my church, I assumed that people would be practically falling over
themselves wanting to spend time with me and get to know me. When it didn't
happen, I was hurt and disappointed. However, as the years have passed by I
have come to understand some things that helped to dissipate the
disappointment . First of all, I have often thought about what I would do if
somebody else were in my situation and I was in good health. In all
honesty.I doubt that I would be spending much time with that person
Secondly, I have come to understand that people have jobs and other
commitments that prevent people from spending time with me. Mostly, though,
I have come to understand that I need to spend time alone with God. No
matter how spiritual a person is., conversation with that person can never
replace fellowship with God. Instead of being disappointed because more
people don't spend time with me, I am trying to be thankful for those that
do.
As much as anything, I have been disappointed in myself. At times I still
am. When I was first saved, like all new Christians, I was bubbly and full of
joy. I didn't know much but I sure was happy. But, as the years rolled by
with no apparent change in my circumstances, I lost a lot of my outer joy. I
have become tired, irritable, impatient and, at times, angry. Not at all the
way a Christian should be acting. And, when I don't act the way I think, as
a Christian, I should act, I get disappointed with myself.
As I was thinking about disappointments in my life, I realized that I often
sat myself up for disappointments simply because of unrealistic
expectations. When I first became a born-again Christian, I thought of God
as kind of a sugar daddy in the sky who would give me what I want when I
want it. Of course, that unrealistic expectation lead to disappointment. And
I have had totally unrealistic expectations of other Christians. I have
expected them to meet needs of mine that only God can meet. But I have also
probablyhave had unrealistic expectations of myself. I expect myself to always be
happy and upbeat. But, considering that I have been unable to walk or talk
and in a hospital for 34 years plus, now, I am trying to stand against
cancer, perhaps that is an unrealistic expectation.
No matter how the disappointment comes, I think it is important that we
don't dwell on it. Rather, shrug it off and just keep on keeping on!
Wednesday, 5 July 2017
Keeping Calm
Keeping Calm-Because I started to write this blog on Canada Day, I was
toying with the idea of writing about the ways that I am thankful to God for
putting me in a wonderful country like Canada. However, I kept it open and
told the Holy Spirit that, if He wanted me to write about something else,
just to let me. The day before Canada Day, the word "calm" popped into my
mind. I just knew I would write about keeping calm. Recently, I have been
working on ways of keeping myself calm in situations which, in the past,
would have caused me to be frustrated, agitated and/or irritated.
The primary way I keep myself calm is by praying in tongues. I use this
mostly, though not always, times that I can't use my computer. A lot of
times, when I am being gotten up or put to bed, I start to feel irritable.
Rather than letting my irritation show, I am trying to pray in tongues in
mind more often. When I am resting in bed in the afternoon is a time when I
often find I find myself getting agitated. At times like that, I am making
more of a conscious effort to pray to myself in tongues.
When I am up and able to use my computer, the main way I calm myself down is
by reading the Bible. If I am feeling irritable and restless, I especially
like to read scriptures on calmness, peace, being still. Stuff like that.
Other ways that I use my computer to calm myself down is writing (especially
these blogs) and my times of "entertainment". Sometimes , when I am feeling
bummed out,I can best calm myself down by losing myself in a good book or by
watching an exciting sporting event or interesting documentary. Just for a
little while.
Another thing that promotes calmness in my everyday life is my music. I have some peaceful, relaxing, tranquil music but I also have some upbeat music. I find that listening to either helps to calm me done when I am feeling irritable and agitated simply because it gets my focus back on God where it should be. Even when I am listening to classical or other instrumental, I am calmer because, in my mind, I am either praising the Lord or praying in tongues along with the tune.
Anything that distracts me from my own thoughts calms me down when I am feeling irritable and agitated or keeps me from getting that way. Visitors are a big help to keeping me calm. They talk about things other than the circumstances I face. Being read to is another thing that keeps me calm. Nothing takes my mind off my problems as much as a good book. Either being read to or doing my own reading on my computer. Outings of any kind are a calm promoter. To church, of course, but also other places.the atmosphere is different from that faces me everyday.
Whenever I start to feel frustrated, agitated, irritable and/or restless, I know that it is time for a thought check. More times than not, it is because I have allowed my thoughts to drift onto negative things. At that point, it is up to me to make a CONSCIOUS effort to pull my thoughts back on things pertaining to God. So, you see, staying calm doesn't happen automatically. I can't say I have it mastered, far from it, but, with God's help, I am working on it.
toying with the idea of writing about the ways that I am thankful to God for
putting me in a wonderful country like Canada. However, I kept it open and
told the Holy Spirit that, if He wanted me to write about something else,
just to let me. The day before Canada Day, the word "calm" popped into my
mind. I just knew I would write about keeping calm. Recently, I have been
working on ways of keeping myself calm in situations which, in the past,
would have caused me to be frustrated, agitated and/or irritated.
The primary way I keep myself calm is by praying in tongues. I use this
mostly, though not always, times that I can't use my computer. A lot of
times, when I am being gotten up or put to bed, I start to feel irritable.
Rather than letting my irritation show, I am trying to pray in tongues in
mind more often. When I am resting in bed in the afternoon is a time when I
often find I find myself getting agitated. At times like that, I am making
more of a conscious effort to pray to myself in tongues.
When I am up and able to use my computer, the main way I calm myself down is
by reading the Bible. If I am feeling irritable and restless, I especially
like to read scriptures on calmness, peace, being still. Stuff like that.
Other ways that I use my computer to calm myself down is writing (especially
these blogs) and my times of "entertainment". Sometimes , when I am feeling
bummed out,I can best calm myself down by losing myself in a good book or by
watching an exciting sporting event or interesting documentary. Just for a
little while.
Another thing that promotes calmness in my everyday life is my music. I have some peaceful, relaxing, tranquil music but I also have some upbeat music. I find that listening to either helps to calm me done when I am feeling irritable and agitated simply because it gets my focus back on God where it should be. Even when I am listening to classical or other instrumental, I am calmer because, in my mind, I am either praising the Lord or praying in tongues along with the tune.
Anything that distracts me from my own thoughts calms me down when I am feeling irritable and agitated or keeps me from getting that way. Visitors are a big help to keeping me calm. They talk about things other than the circumstances I face. Being read to is another thing that keeps me calm. Nothing takes my mind off my problems as much as a good book. Either being read to or doing my own reading on my computer. Outings of any kind are a calm promoter. To church, of course, but also other places.the atmosphere is different from that faces me everyday.
Whenever I start to feel frustrated, agitated, irritable and/or restless, I know that it is time for a thought check. More times than not, it is because I have allowed my thoughts to drift onto negative things. At that point, it is up to me to make a CONSCIOUS effort to pull my thoughts back on things pertaining to God. So, you see, staying calm doesn't happen automatically. I can't say I have it mastered, far from it, but, with God's help, I am working on it.
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