All is Well

All Is Well-This will probably be a short blog. I had one half written but, this morning, I didn't feel to post it. Then, as I was scrambling for an idea to write about, I remembered that 
a little while ago I felt the Lord saying to me, "All Is Well". Considering that I have cancer on top of all my other physical issues, on the outside, nothing seems farther from the truth. However, on the inside where it really matters, I know "All Is Well".

"All Is Well" because I have the peace of God. Other "peace" depends on circumstances. When everything is going the way they want, people can be at peace but when adversity comes, their fragile peace is gone. But the peace of God which I have is different. It is a deep, inner tranquility, no matter what is going on the outside. At times, when my emotions are running wild, I lose that peace for a little while but it always comes back

"All Is Well " because I have hope. Nothing is impossible for God so, no matter if it is not possible for man. And no matter in what situation. That hope has carried me through many, many difficult times over the many years since my salvation and is helping me to cope with the cancer.

"All Is Well" because I am never alone. Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, is always with me, no matter where I am or how I am doing emotionally. He is with me at church but He is also with me at Long-term care or any other place I may be. He is with me when I am praising Him or reading the Bible but He is also with me when I am crying and having a meltdown. Even when I don't feel His presence, I know that He is with me.

"All Is Well" because God is in control. No matter what I am going through personally or what is going on in this world, everything will turn out the way God wants it to. One thing I know is that I would much rather have God control the future than any human!

Finally, and most important, "All Is Well" because I know that I am going to Heaven. Considering that I will be spending FOREVER in a place of no more pain or sorrow and endless peace, all my past and present hardships seem pretty insignificant. 

How I can please God Right Now

How I Can Please God-Right Now- As a Christian, I really do want to please
God. As, I am sure, does every genuine Christian. Too often, though, I feel
that, because of my almost nonexistent physical abilities, there is not much
that I can do please God. This, then, is an inventory of the things that,
right now and in my present condition, I can do to be pleasing to God.

I can be faithful. One thing I have been faithful in throughout the long
years is reading and meditating on the Bible. In fact, it is the highlight
of my day. It seems that, no matter how many times I read something in the
Bible, I am always discovering something new. Before I got a computer, I had
no way of reading the Bible for myself. However, I did have the Bible on
cassettes so I could at least listen to it. When I got my first computer,
the most exciting thing was that it had a Bible program so I could do my own
reading. I prefer reading to listening. I often like to go back and reread
things. Now, with the internet, I read all sorts of versions which makes it
even more interesting.

A second area that I have tried to be faithful is church attendance . I have
been attending the same church for around 30 years and have not missed a
whole lot of services. If I miss, it is mostly because I
have no means of getting there.

I can obey. I have been a Christian a long time and I have figured out that
God is big on obedience. Even though I know that I don't obey 100%, I am
scared to DELIBERATELY disobey. This is God and I sure don't want HIM upset
with me! When God tells me to do something that I really don't want to do, I
do it as quickly as possible. I am the kind of person who, if  I have to do
something I don't want to do, likes to get it over with right away.

I can praise and be thankful. Sometimes, I wish I could sing loudly, clap, raise my hands and dance during the praise and worship at church like other people do. But I know my feeble grunts out loud mean every bit as to God. He cares about what is in our hearts and not so much about our outer actions. But praise at church is just part of the picture. Afterall, we are only in church one day out of seven. We need to praise God during the week as well. For me, praising God is really important as it keeps me from depression. Sometimes, all I  can do is pray through the tears. And there have been plenty of times that I have to force myself to praise. And to be thankful. Over the years, I have figured out that there are always things to be thankful for, even if they are not obvious. I have had the habit for years of, before I go to sleep, of thinking of things that day to be thankful for.

I can pray for other people. I have a list of people that I pray for everyday. However, quite often, somebody will come to mind and I take that as a prompting from the Holy Spirit to pray for them. Sometimes, it is a person I know now. At other times, it is somebody from my past.

I can put God first. For me, this primarily means how I use my time on my computer. There was a time that, before I started my Bible reading, I would check and read my e-mails. However, quite a few years ago, I decided that was not putting God first so I started doing my Bible reading before I do anything else. At first, it was a bit of a struggle but, now, I don't even think about it. Putting God first also means making church a priority. Except for one time that I can think of, years ago, I have been at church if at all possible.

I can be still. Sometimes, all we can do is be still and let God do His thing. But, in this busy, go-go world, I don't imagine being still is easy. I have an advantage, physically at least. It is pretty easy to be still when I can't move. Mentally, though, it is more of a challenge to quiet my thoughts before God.

I can write these blogs. To be honest, I started writing these blogs merely to obey God. It wasn't anything I wanted to do. But, looking back, I realize that God has been using these blogs both to stretch me as I open up about myself and as a vehicle to share some of His thoughts with me and many others.

I know I am pleasing God right now just by writing this blog. The ways I can please God may not always seen by people. But, that is ok. My aim is to please God, not people. 

Dreams and Imaginings

Dreams And Imaginings-In a previous blog, I mentioned one thing that had kept me going all these years has been hope. Another thing has been my dreams and imaginings. Because I have so much time to do nothing but think, it passes time and helps take my mind off all the negative circumstances in my life. The dreams and imaginings also help to keep the promise of healing fresh in my mind. I just have to make sure that my dreams and imaginings don't drift into "unhealthy" areas. They do sometimes but then it is up to me to jerk them back in line.

The majority of my dreams and imaginings revolve around my healing from God.
The first thing that I like to imagine is how it will come about. The truth is that I have absolutely no idea. Just that it probably won't come about anything like my imaginings. My favorite is to imagine that I just, one day, I will hop out of the wheelchair and start walking and talking like any other person. At times, l dream that somebody lays hands on me and I end up being healed. Or I sometimes imagine going to sleep one night and, in the morning, waking up healed. Not often but once in awhile I speculate on a new medical procedure that could restore me to health.

I also dream about where my healing will take place. The first place I think of church. It is a healing from God so isn't it logical that He would heal in a church? But God is not always logical, at least not by human standards of logic, so I know that my healing could just as easily happen somewhere else. Like Long-term care. Either in my room or, maybe, in the dining room,.
That would be interesting. Whenever I go out, to whatever, I am always thinking, "What if it happened now?"

It is also fun to imagine who might be present when I am healed. Usually I dream about just hopping out of my wheelchair or bed, totally healed.
Mostly, I like to think about the look on their faces. Sometimes, I dream about being healed at church. Even though it is Christians and should expect it at anytime, it has been so long that I am sure that there will be a lot of surprised people. Including me, probably. But I also dream of being healed in Long-term care. Sometimes, I imagine suddenly being healed when I am alone in my room  and coming out and freaking out the nurses. Or perhaps it will happen while they are doing my care. Sure to be equally shocking.
Wherever I go or whoever I am with, I like to imagine what would happen if I received my healing right at that moment in time .

One thing that I have never dreamt about much is when it will happen. I know the timing is entirely up to God. When I was 35, I would imagine being able to things that any 35 year old would do. However, now that I am considerably older, the things that I imagine myself being able to do have changed with my age.

Speaking of things that I would be able to do, there are certain things that I dream of doing. One is going for a walk. Whether it is just a walk or I am going somewhere specific, I so look forward to being able to walk again.
Another that I dream of being able to raise my hands to God at church . I also imagine reading an actual book. Right now, I read lots on my computer but it is not the same as a book that you can carry with you. Of course, there are mundane things like being able to dress and feed myself. These are just a few of the things I dream of being able to do. There are many, many others.

I like to eat so I often dream of all things that I will be able to eat after my healing that I can't eat now. All the hard things that I can't eat now. Like an apple. Or raw vegetables. Or nuts. Or hard candy. The list could go on and on. Sometimes, I even imagine myself going to a restaurant and ordering a big steak!

A final dream I have is of suddenly starting to speak even though the rest of me has remained unchanged In fact, a couple of the nurses have had dreams where I was talking to them. I find that interesting. Anyway, I like to dream that I can talk and be part of conversations, at Long-term care, church and elsewhere. I dream of easily being able to tell people things and not get frustrated because they don't understand what I  am trying to say.

l know that, of all my dreams and imaginings, very few, if any, will actually come to pass. But I also know that, without these dreams and imaginings, I would probably be thinking a lot of thoughts that tend to make me depressed.

Believe It Or Not, Having Cancer Is Not All Bad

Believe It Or Not, Having Cancer Is Not All Bad.  Since I was diagnosed with

breast cancer, after the initial emotional outburst, I have been reading

healing scriptures for cancer, and also testimonies from Christians who

have overcome cancer. I get encouragement from them. One lady, who overcame

breast cancer, said that she thanked God that He trusted her enough to allow

her have cancer. Wow! I admit that I am not there yet but I also have to

admit that there has been some good to arise from the breast cancer

diagnosis.

 

Most importantly, I believe the cancer diagnosis has given me an even more

intimate relationship with God. Because of the stroke and following

complications, I have had lots of time to develop a close relationship with

God. I have always considered Him my best friend. Now, though, it is more

like a Daddy-small child relationship. When I start to feel overwhelmed the

cancer and panic tries to rise up in me, I can run to my Daddy and His Word

(the Bible) and I am comforted.

 

Being diagnosed with breast cancer has also provided another opportunity for

me to have faith and trust in God.  Sometimes, I wonder if these

"opportunities" will ever end! Seriously, every time that we have to trust

God in the middle of an unwanted circumstance, it serves to increase our

faith in Him and that is a good thing, is it not?

 

Being diagnosed with breast cancer has made me more aware of what I am

thinking. Because I have so much time to do nothing but think, keeping my

thoughts in line with God’s thoughts has always been a “challenge” for me.

Now, though, I find it easier. Right now, most of my thinking is centered

around the cancer. When I catch myself starting to panic or to think overly

much about medical procedures that I might have to go through, I FORCE

myself to start thinking about the cancer from God’s perspective.

 

Being diagnosed with breast cancer has given people more of an opportunity

to pray for me. I like to think people pray for me anyway but, I know that

when I revealed the cancer diagnosis through one of these blogs, a lot of

people said they would pray for me. Including some I don't even know. I even

know of a couple of people who are not Christians who are praying for me.

Anytime a person who is not a Christian prays, it can't be all bad.

 

Being diagnosed with breast cancer seems to have brought my family together

a bit more. My kids were very close when they were little but, as usually

happens, they drifted apart as they grew older. However, since I told them

about the breast cancer, they seem to maybe be having more contact with

each other. And with me as well. I have always exchanged e-mails with my

kids, but now it seems to be more frequent and meaningful.

 

Finally, being diagnosed with breast cancer should give me an opportunity to

show Jesus to the world. I say "should" because so far I don't think I am

doing very well. However, I am praying that I will go through the cancer

treatments in a manner that glorifies God. I am sure that I will have

contact with lots of different people. I want them to see God in me.

 

Don't get me wrong. I really, really , REALLY don't want to have cancer but

it is what it is. Instead of whining and feeling sorry for myself, I am

trying, not always successfully, to see the good things about the cancer.

Over the years, I have learned that we can find some good in almost any

situation if we really try.