Christmas

Christmas-One day, the thought came to me that, if I am going to write about
Christmas, I had better do soon as Christmas is quickly sneaking up on us.
But, like I told God, I had no idea what to write about Christmas. I felt to
keep it simple and just write about the good and bad things about Christmas
for me at the present time, in my present condition.

So let's start with the good things about Christmas for me. By far, the best
thing about Christmas is what it means. Because I have been a Christian for
many years, it is easy to slip into taking Jesus for granted. So it is good,
everytime Christmas rolls around, to be reminded of the the precious gift
that God gave the world in giving us Jesus and the reason for it.

Another thing I love about Christmas is the music. There are some really
nice Christmas songs out there, as well as some pretty silly ones, but my
favorites are still the old carols. Before the stroke, I used to
just pay attention to the first verse but now I like to listen to the words
of the entire carol. I find it very uplifting.

Another Christmas best for me is the food. Especially the baking. We don't
get goodies like that. No doubt, a good thing or I would be looking like a
beached whale by now! Still, though, at Christmas, I thoroughly enjoy
indulging in stuff like that!

Christmas decorations are another aspect that I enjoy. This year, I had
absolutely no interest in Christmas. However, mostly for my "adopted"
grandkids, I decided I should put up a few decorations in my room. Amazingly,
though, ever since those decorations went up, my mood has changed and I am
looking forward to Christmas. They also have Long-term Care decorated really
nicely. I don't usually get out just to look at Christmas lights but I love to see
them as I go to and from church.

Something else that I really like about Christmas is the sense of community
at this time of year. With all the technology now, it seems like people are
spending less and less time together. So it is nice that, at Christmas,
there are functions that bring people together. Although,  because of my
physical condition, I can't always take part in many of  these functions, it is still
nice to see other people spending more time together.

However, I would not be honest if I didn't mention that Christmas is also a lonely, depressing, tedious time for me. I suspect that, for a lot of people, Christmas is not all that joyful. Life in Long-term Care is always lonely for everybody. But Christmas feels even lonelier. True, some people get visitors, a few even get to go out, but, for others, it is is just another day. I have been fortunate in that I have always had somebody to spend enough time with me to at least open gifts. Before my kids left home, they would spend every Christmas afternoon with me, opening gifts and visiting. Since then, there always was somebody. Except for one year.  That year, I was so lonely. It has brought me to the conclusion that nobody should ever have to be alone. Last year was my best Christmas in years. I spent Christmas morning with my "adopted" family which made it feel much more Christmas.

Depression is something I often battle but, at Christmas, it is even more of a battle. This year, though, I have one thing that is helping. One of this nurses gave me a stocking that says, "Jesus is the reason for the season". When I am lying in bed and start feeling sorry for myself, I look at it and it puts things back in perspective for me.

Christmas, at least most times, is tedious for me. Because any visitors I get, don't come until afternoon or evening, Christmas morning is just like any other morning. I do enjoy my mornings. It is just that on Christmas it feels like I should be doing something else.

The very worst time for me, though, is the week between Christmas and New Year. All the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle is over and things settle back into my mundane routine. I don't get out much or get many visitors.

So, you see, Christmas is, for me, like the rest of my life. A combination of good and bad.