My Life Is... -When this title came to me, right away l thought of negative
words that I could use to describe my life. But I am not going to. Instead,
I am choosing to focus on the good aspects of my life. Believe it or
not,there are some!
My life is God-centered. Pretty much everything in my life centers around
God. From the Christian music I have playing all day most days to all the
time that I spend reading the Bible to the fact that I never miss church if
it at all possible to be there. Over the years, I have learned to
communicate with God in my mind so, no matter what else is going on, I can
still be communication with the Lord. The nurses are all aware that I am a
Christian because I have never tried to hide it and, even if they don't
agree, I believe they respect me for it. One other way that my life is
God-centered is by writing these blogs. I write what I feel the Holy Spirit
wants me to write so, of course, God is a major component of most of the
blogs.
My life is hope-filled. Of course, I have the hope of heaven that every
Christian has but I also hope for a better life in this world. I have no
idea what the future holds for me but, whatever it is, it will be more than
good. I admit that, over the years my hope for healing has dimmed a little
but it is still there. It is that hope that keeps me going when my
emotions are screaming that it is too hard and to give up.
My life is free. Not physically but in other ways. My life is free from
other commitments and people that would try to pull me away from God.
Barring my physical limitations, I am free to do anything. Free to praise
and worship God anytime I want. Free to imagine the great things that God
might do in my life. The Bible says that nothing is impossible to God so
there is nothing that I can imagine that He can't do if He wants.
My life is protected. Every born-again Christian's life is protected in the
sense that they are not going to pass away until God determines. However,
during their lifetime, there will be lots of ups and downs, twists and
turns. By keeping me in Long-term Care, I suspect that God is protecting me
from a lot of the "challenges" that other Christians have to face.
My life is relatively stress-free. From time to time, I will catch myself
fretting over some silly little thing but I certainly don't have any major
stresses like relationship problems, unpaid bills, etc. I can think of
plenty of negative words that describe my life but stress-filled would not
be one of them. Sometimes people will say to me that I don't have many
wrinkles for my age. I never can help thinking that, at least in part, is
because I don't have much stress either.
My life is quiet and peaceful. Unless, of course, I am having one of my
famous "meltdowns". It is quiet and peaceful. The nurses are busy so they
don't disturb me too often. So I am usually alone. And there is usually
Christian music playing which adds to the peaceful atmosphere. In fact, I
have had visitors comment on how peaceful it is.
In conclusion, my life is blessed. Like every other born-again Christian, I
am blessed to be saved, have Jesus in my life and know I am going to heaven.
But I also know that I am blessed in a special way. I often think of this.
Of all the people in the world, He chose me. I don't know why but it is
mind-boggling!
Me
At the beloved/hated writing vessel
Wednesday, 29 July 2015
Thursday, 23 July 2015
How I Distract Myself from Negative Thinking
-Of course, what I am going
through is physically far from easy but, I suspect, the mental and emotional
aspect is every bit as difficult. One challenge that I face daily is trying
to
find ways to distract me from depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself thoughts.
Reading the Bible definitely distracts me from such negative thoughts. While
that is not the primary reason that I read the Bible, it certainly puts me
in a better frame of mind to face the rest of the day. I
like to start reading the Bible as soon as I get up, around 7:30. That way,
by the time we have breakfast, I have done enough to lift my spirits, if
need be.
Praying and communicating with God is another way that I can keep myself
from negative thoughts. I have to be careful, though. Because I can't speak,
it is too easy to let my mind drift into places that it shouldn't be going.
I keep Christian music playing all day most days. While I am using my
computer, it is mostly just in the background but, when I am lying in bed in
the afternoon, that is when the music helps me to keep my
thoughts more positive than negative. I like to listen to the words as they
help to keep me from feeling down and depressed. The problem, though, is
when the music becomes too familiar. Then I have to really make myself
concentrate on what the music is saying or my thoughts will go
helter-skelter and I usually end up feeling discouraged and depressed. To
combat this, I will sometimes play a little game with myself. I listen to
the words of a song and then try to think of a scripture to match it.
Recently, thinking about what I might write in my next blog is helping to
keep my mind on what it should be on and off of "poor me". Even though I
never know precisely what I am going to write until I start writing, it does
help to think about what I might write.Usually, the Holy Spirit gives a
general topic and I like to think about specifics.
The hardest time for me to control my thoughts and avoid frustrated,
depressing thoughts is when I am in bed, either when I am waiting to go to
sleep or when I am awake in the middle or when I wake up early. At times I
do start quoting scriptures to myself but that usually doesn't last long and
I return to to struggling with my thoughts.
One of the best ways to distract my thoughts from all the negative
circumstances that I face is going to church. It is a totally different
atmosphere from
Long-term care where the focus is on God and not on the awful circumstances
that
I live with everyday. Still, though, I often struggle with depressing
thoughts at church when I see other people so easily doing things that I
can't do. Things like moving around and having conversations with other
people. Or, a
big one for me, raising their hands in worship. However, by the time the
sermon starts, I usually have my emotions in check and am listening eagerly
to what God is saying to us through the pastor.
I like to read. I have always liked to read. When I am reading, whether the
Bible or something else, I am, for the most part, oblivious to everything.
And that includes any negative, depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself
thoughts.
Another thing that keeps negative thoughts at bay is any kind of writing. Be
it e-mails, these blogs or something else. Because I have to really
concentrate to bop out each letter, not only does it take a long time but it
also keeps my thoughts focused on what I am writing and prevents them from
wandering to places they shouldn't be going.
TV is a good distraction from depressing thoughts. Provided, of course, I
am careful about what I watch. Not only does it pass time for me, it keeps
my mind focused on whatever I am watching instead of thinking how awful my
life is.
One of the best ways of distracting my thinking is by getting visitors. I
know that one of the biggest problems I have in controlling my thoughts is
simply because I am alone so much and we tend to think too much about
ourselves when we are by ourselves. Visitors, whether they come to read to
me or just to chat, really do help as they do take my mind off of me.
Going on various outings also provide a distraction from negative thinking.
Again, they take my mind off of myself and put it on whatever I happen to be
doing at the time, and keeps me in a more positive frame of mind.
Finally, something that often distracts me from depressing thoughts is
joking around with the nurses. It is pretty hard to get depressed when you
are laughing and just being silly
Ultimately, though, whether I think negative, depressing thoughts is my
decision. Those kind of thoughts always come at one time or another but
whether or not I entertain them is entirely up to me. God is not going to
control our thoughts for us. With me, it usually goes something like this.
Something happens or I think something to upset me. I cry and get upset
until I come to my senses and MAKE myself start thinking more in line with
what God wants me to be thinking.
through is physically far from easy but, I suspect, the mental and emotional
aspect is every bit as difficult. One challenge that I face daily is trying
to
find ways to distract me from depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself thoughts.
Reading the Bible definitely distracts me from such negative thoughts. While
that is not the primary reason that I read the Bible, it certainly puts me
in a better frame of mind to face the rest of the day. I
like to start reading the Bible as soon as I get up, around 7:30. That way,
by the time we have breakfast, I have done enough to lift my spirits, if
need be.
Praying and communicating with God is another way that I can keep myself
from negative thoughts. I have to be careful, though. Because I can't speak,
it is too easy to let my mind drift into places that it shouldn't be going.
I keep Christian music playing all day most days. While I am using my
computer, it is mostly just in the background but, when I am lying in bed in
the afternoon, that is when the music helps me to keep my
thoughts more positive than negative. I like to listen to the words as they
help to keep me from feeling down and depressed. The problem, though, is
when the music becomes too familiar. Then I have to really make myself
concentrate on what the music is saying or my thoughts will go
helter-skelter and I usually end up feeling discouraged and depressed. To
combat this, I will sometimes play a little game with myself. I listen to
the words of a song and then try to think of a scripture to match it.
Recently, thinking about what I might write in my next blog is helping to
keep my mind on what it should be on and off of "poor me". Even though I
never know precisely what I am going to write until I start writing, it does
help to think about what I might write.Usually, the Holy Spirit gives a
general topic and I like to think about specifics.
The hardest time for me to control my thoughts and avoid frustrated,
depressing thoughts is when I am in bed, either when I am waiting to go to
sleep or when I am awake in the middle or when I wake up early. At times I
do start quoting scriptures to myself but that usually doesn't last long and
I return to to struggling with my thoughts.
One of the best ways to distract my thoughts from all the negative
circumstances that I face is going to church. It is a totally different
atmosphere from
Long-term care where the focus is on God and not on the awful circumstances
that
I live with everyday. Still, though, I often struggle with depressing
thoughts at church when I see other people so easily doing things that I
can't do. Things like moving around and having conversations with other
people. Or, a
big one for me, raising their hands in worship. However, by the time the
sermon starts, I usually have my emotions in check and am listening eagerly
to what God is saying to us through the pastor.
I like to read. I have always liked to read. When I am reading, whether the
Bible or something else, I am, for the most part, oblivious to everything.
And that includes any negative, depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself
thoughts.
Another thing that keeps negative thoughts at bay is any kind of writing. Be
it e-mails, these blogs or something else. Because I have to really
concentrate to bop out each letter, not only does it take a long time but it
also keeps my thoughts focused on what I am writing and prevents them from
wandering to places they shouldn't be going.
TV is a good distraction from depressing thoughts. Provided, of course, I
am careful about what I watch. Not only does it pass time for me, it keeps
my mind focused on whatever I am watching instead of thinking how awful my
life is.
One of the best ways of distracting my thinking is by getting visitors. I
know that one of the biggest problems I have in controlling my thoughts is
simply because I am alone so much and we tend to think too much about
ourselves when we are by ourselves. Visitors, whether they come to read to
me or just to chat, really do help as they do take my mind off of me.
Going on various outings also provide a distraction from negative thinking.
Again, they take my mind off of myself and put it on whatever I happen to be
doing at the time, and keeps me in a more positive frame of mind.
Finally, something that often distracts me from depressing thoughts is
joking around with the nurses. It is pretty hard to get depressed when you
are laughing and just being silly
Ultimately, though, whether I think negative, depressing thoughts is my
decision. Those kind of thoughts always come at one time or another but
whether or not I entertain them is entirely up to me. God is not going to
control our thoughts for us. With me, it usually goes something like this.
Something happens or I think something to upset me. I cry and get upset
until I come to my senses and MAKE myself start thinking more in line with
what God wants me to be thinking.
How I Distract Myself from Negative Thinking
-Of course, what I am going
through is physically far from easy but, I suspect, the mental and emotional
aspect is every bit as difficult. One challenge that I face daily is trying
to
find ways to distract me from depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself thoughts.
Reading the Bible definitely distracts me from such negative thoughts. While
that is not the primary reason that I read the Bible, it certainly puts me
in a better frame of mind to face the rest of the day. I
like to start reading the Bible as soon as I get up, around 7:30. That way,
by the time we have breakfast, I have done enough to lift my spirits, if
need be.
Praying and communicating with God is another way that I can keep myself
from negative thoughts. I have to be careful, though. Because I can't speak,
it is too easy to let my mind drift into places that it shouldn't be going.
I keep Christian music playing all day most days. While I am using my
computer, it is mostly just in the background but, when I am lying in bed in
the afternoon, that is when the music helps me to keep my
thoughts more positive than negative. I like to listen to the words as they
help to keep me from feeling down and depressed. The problem, though, is
when the music becomes too familiar. Then I have to really make myself
concentrate on what the music is saying or my thoughts will go
helter-skelter and I usually end up feeling discouraged and depressed. To
combat this, I will sometimes play a little game with myself. I listen to
the words of a song and then try to think of a scripture to match it.
Recently, thinking about what I might write in my next blog is helping to
keep my mind on what it should be on and off of "poor me". Even though I
never know precisely what I am going to write until I start writing, it does
help to think about what I might write.Usually, the Holy Spirit gives a
general topic and I like to think about specifics.
The hardest time for me to control my thoughts and avoid frustrated,
depressing thoughts is when I am in bed, either when I am waiting to go to
sleep or when I am awake in the middle or when I wake up early. At times I
do start quoting scriptures to myself but that usually doesn't last long and
I return to to struggling with my thoughts.
One of the best ways to distract my thoughts from all the negative
circumstances that I face is going to church. It is a totally different
atmosphere from
Long-term care where the focus is on God and not on the awful circumstances
that
I live with everyday. Still, though, I often struggle with depressing
thoughts at church when I see other people so easily doing things that I
can't do. Things like moving around and having conversations with other
people. Or, a
big one for me, raising their hands in worship. However, by the time the
sermon starts, I usually have my emotions in check and am listening eagerly
to what God is saying to us through the pastor.
I like to read. I have always liked to read. When I am reading, whether the
Bible or something else, I am, for the most part, oblivious to everything.
And that includes any negative, depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself
thoughts.
Another thing that keeps negative thoughts at bay is any kind of writing. Be
it e-mails, these blogs or something else. Because I have to really
concentrate to bop out each letter, not only does it take a long time but it
also keeps my thoughts focused on what I am writing and prevents them from
wandering to places they shouldn't be going.
TV is a good distraction from depressing thoughts. Provided, of course, I
am careful about what I watch. Not only does it pass time for me, it keeps
my mind focused on whatever I am watching instead of thinking how awful my
life is.
One of the best ways of distracting my thinking is by getting visitors. I
know that one of the biggest problems I have in controlling my thoughts is
simply because I am alone so much and we tend to think too much about
ourselves when we are by ourselves. Visitors, whether they come to read to
me or just to chat, really do help as they do take my mind off of me.
Going on various outings also provide a distraction from negative thinking.
Again, they take my mind off of myself and put it on whatever I happen to be
doing at the time, and keeps me in a more positive frame of mind.
Finally, something that often distracts me from depressing thoughts is
joking around with the nurses. It is pretty hard to get depressed when you
are laughing and just being silly
Ultimately, though, whether I think negative, depressing thoughts is my
decision. Those kind of thoughts always come at one time or another but
whether or not I entertain them is entirely up to me. God is not going to
control our thoughts for us. With me, it usually goes something like this.
Something happens or I think something to upset me. I cry and get upset
until I come to my senses and MAKE myself start thinking more in line with
what God wants me to be thinking.
through is physically far from easy but, I suspect, the mental and emotional
aspect is every bit as difficult. One challenge that I face daily is trying
to
find ways to distract me from depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself thoughts.
Reading the Bible definitely distracts me from such negative thoughts. While
that is not the primary reason that I read the Bible, it certainly puts me
in a better frame of mind to face the rest of the day. I
like to start reading the Bible as soon as I get up, around 7:30. That way,
by the time we have breakfast, I have done enough to lift my spirits, if
need be.
Praying and communicating with God is another way that I can keep myself
from negative thoughts. I have to be careful, though. Because I can't speak,
it is too easy to let my mind drift into places that it shouldn't be going.
I keep Christian music playing all day most days. While I am using my
computer, it is mostly just in the background but, when I am lying in bed in
the afternoon, that is when the music helps me to keep my
thoughts more positive than negative. I like to listen to the words as they
help to keep me from feeling down and depressed. The problem, though, is
when the music becomes too familiar. Then I have to really make myself
concentrate on what the music is saying or my thoughts will go
helter-skelter and I usually end up feeling discouraged and depressed. To
combat this, I will sometimes play a little game with myself. I listen to
the words of a song and then try to think of a scripture to match it.
Recently, thinking about what I might write in my next blog is helping to
keep my mind on what it should be on and off of "poor me". Even though I
never know precisely what I am going to write until I start writing, it does
help to think about what I might write.Usually, the Holy Spirit gives a
general topic and I like to think about specifics.
The hardest time for me to control my thoughts and avoid frustrated,
depressing thoughts is when I am in bed, either when I am waiting to go to
sleep or when I am awake in the middle or when I wake up early. At times I
do start quoting scriptures to myself but that usually doesn't last long and
I return to to struggling with my thoughts.
One of the best ways to distract my thoughts from all the negative
circumstances that I face is going to church. It is a totally different
atmosphere from
Long-term care where the focus is on God and not on the awful circumstances
that
I live with everyday. Still, though, I often struggle with depressing
thoughts at church when I see other people so easily doing things that I
can't do. Things like moving around and having conversations with other
people. Or, a
big one for me, raising their hands in worship. However, by the time the
sermon starts, I usually have my emotions in check and am listening eagerly
to what God is saying to us through the pastor.
I like to read. I have always liked to read. When I am reading, whether the
Bible or something else, I am, for the most part, oblivious to everything.
And that includes any negative, depressing, feeling-sorry-for-myself
thoughts.
Another thing that keeps negative thoughts at bay is any kind of writing. Be
it e-mails, these blogs or something else. Because I have to really
concentrate to bop out each letter, not only does it take a long time but it
also keeps my thoughts focused on what I am writing and prevents them from
wandering to places they shouldn't be going.
TV is a good distraction from depressing thoughts. Provided, of course, I
am careful about what I watch. Not only does it pass time for me, it keeps
my mind focused on whatever I am watching instead of thinking how awful my
life is.
One of the best ways of distracting my thinking is by getting visitors. I
know that one of the biggest problems I have in controlling my thoughts is
simply because I am alone so much and we tend to think too much about
ourselves when we are by ourselves. Visitors, whether they come to read to
me or just to chat, really do help as they do take my mind off of me.
Going on various outings also provide a distraction from negative thinking.
Again, they take my mind off of myself and put it on whatever I happen to be
doing at the time, and keeps me in a more positive frame of mind.
Finally, something that often distracts me from depressing thoughts is
joking around with the nurses. It is pretty hard to get depressed when you
are laughing and just being silly
Ultimately, though, whether I think negative, depressing thoughts is my
decision. Those kind of thoughts always come at one time or another but
whether or not I entertain them is entirely up to me. God is not going to
control our thoughts for us. With me, it usually goes something like this.
Something happens or I think something to upset me. I cry and get upset
until I come to my senses and MAKE myself start thinking more in line with
what God wants me to be thinking.
Tuesday, 14 July 2015
"Spare" Time
"Spare" Time-All my time is spare in the sense that I don't have job
commitments, family commitments or other commitments that take up a good
portion of my time. What I consider "spare" time is any activity that is not
God-related somehow. Things that help to pass time for me but are not
essential like reading the Bible, praying, going to church,etc.
One activity that takes up a fair bit of my time is writing e-mails. Because
any
kind of writing is, for me, a slow, lengthy process, I can usually pass an
hour or so writing just one medium length e-mail. (Because the blogs are a
lot longer, I write them on two separate days. A couple of hours one day and
finish it a couple of days later.) Despite being so time-consuming, I enjoy
writing e-mails. It is a way of being in touch and talking to people. Over
the years, I have reconnected with four of my cousins whom I haven't seen
since we were children. I also write to friends including two from
university, a LONG time ago, and a lady that I used to teach with, also a
long time ago. Then there are nurses who don't work here anymore. I use my
e-mail talk to my kids, though those e-mails are usually shorter. Anyway,
you get the picture. Writing e-mails takes up a lot of my "spare" time.
I have always been an avid reader. I still am, only now I have to do all my
reading on my computer. Aside from all the Bible reading I do, in my "spare"
time I like to read classic English literature. I figure that this is a good
time to read a lot of books that I know by name but have never taken time to
read.
I sometimes feel like I spend too much time watching tv. I do limit myself
to the evenings when I don't have the energy to even read. Years ago, I also
used to sometimes watch in the afternoons to pass time. Until the Holy
Spirit told me that it was too much tv to watch both afternoon and evening.
So I altogether cut out watching tv in the afternoon. Now, I mostly watch
sports, though sometimes I find an interesting documentary to watch. One
time, I asked the Lord if I should be watching so many sports. He said to
keep watching but also to pray for the players. Which I do most of the time. I
admit, though, that there are times that I get so interested in the game
that I forget.
My final "spare time" activitiy is to go out. When I go out, I mostly go
out, it is to church or church related activities. However, I go other
places as well. One of my favorite things to do is to eat out. Different
food is a real treat for me. But I go other places as well. I now travel in
a van that my friend and her husband, bless them, bought especially for my
use. It allows me a lot more freedom in the places I go.
When I talk about "spare time", it almost sounds like I consider my time
with God to be work. Not at all. It is just that that is how I spend the
majority of my time. But, whether it is time with God or "spare time", my
main objective is anything that will distract my thoughts from my dismal
circumstances.
commitments, family commitments or other commitments that take up a good
portion of my time. What I consider "spare" time is any activity that is not
God-related somehow. Things that help to pass time for me but are not
essential like reading the Bible, praying, going to church,etc.
One activity that takes up a fair bit of my time is writing e-mails. Because
any
kind of writing is, for me, a slow, lengthy process, I can usually pass an
hour or so writing just one medium length e-mail. (Because the blogs are a
lot longer, I write them on two separate days. A couple of hours one day and
finish it a couple of days later.) Despite being so time-consuming, I enjoy
writing e-mails. It is a way of being in touch and talking to people. Over
the years, I have reconnected with four of my cousins whom I haven't seen
since we were children. I also write to friends including two from
university, a LONG time ago, and a lady that I used to teach with, also a
long time ago. Then there are nurses who don't work here anymore. I use my
e-mail talk to my kids, though those e-mails are usually shorter. Anyway,
you get the picture. Writing e-mails takes up a lot of my "spare" time.
I have always been an avid reader. I still am, only now I have to do all my
reading on my computer. Aside from all the Bible reading I do, in my "spare"
time I like to read classic English literature. I figure that this is a good
time to read a lot of books that I know by name but have never taken time to
read.
I sometimes feel like I spend too much time watching tv. I do limit myself
to the evenings when I don't have the energy to even read. Years ago, I also
used to sometimes watch in the afternoons to pass time. Until the Holy
Spirit told me that it was too much tv to watch both afternoon and evening.
So I altogether cut out watching tv in the afternoon. Now, I mostly watch
sports, though sometimes I find an interesting documentary to watch. One
time, I asked the Lord if I should be watching so many sports. He said to
keep watching but also to pray for the players. Which I do most of the time. I
admit, though, that there are times that I get so interested in the game
that I forget.
My final "spare time" activitiy is to go out. When I go out, I mostly go
out, it is to church or church related activities. However, I go other
places as well. One of my favorite things to do is to eat out. Different
food is a real treat for me. But I go other places as well. I now travel in
a van that my friend and her husband, bless them, bought especially for my
use. It allows me a lot more freedom in the places I go.
When I talk about "spare time", it almost sounds like I consider my time
with God to be work. Not at all. It is just that that is how I spend the
majority of my time. But, whether it is time with God or "spare time", my
main objective is anything that will distract my thoughts from my dismal
circumstances.
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