Appreciation-Or Lack Thereof

          -I was thinking of how we don't appreciate thing suntil they are gone. For me, I know that there were many things that I
didn't even think about before the stroke but I sure do miss them now that
they are gone.

I NEVER APPRECIATED FREEDOM OF MOVEMENT . To be honest, it never even
occurred to me that I could lose it. Once in awhile, I would see somebody in
a wheelchair but I never thought about how that person must feel about not
having the freedom of movement that they used to have. (Unless they were
born that way and don't know any different) Now, though, I have a whole lot
more empathy with other people who, for whatever reason, have lost all, or
even part of their freedom of movement.

I NEVER APPRECIATED THE ABILITY TO SPEAK. Until the stroke, I don't even
remember a time in my life when I couldn't speak. I guess I took it for
granted but why wouldn't I? I don't think that I was ever even around
someone who couldn't speak prior to the stroke. Occasionally, since I have
been in Long Term Care, someone comes in who is unable to speak , usually
with no means of communicating at all. Which is SO frustrating for
everybody. My point in all this is that speech is something that we don't
usually think about but, when it is gone, we sure do think about it and wish
we had it back.

I NEVER APPRECIATED HEALTH IN GENERAL-Prior to the stroke, I was a pretty
healthy person. Mostly just the usual colds and flu, etc. I still don't see
myself really as sick but, when I can't walk or talk, when I have numerous,
constant aches and pains and have been in a hospital for so long, it is hard
to think of myself as really healthy eother. All I know is that it sure would, and
will, be nice to have the health that I once had.

I NEVER APPRECIATED FAMILY- I better clarify this. The purpose of this blog is to point out some things that I didn't appreciate before they were gone. But I didn't lose my family. At least,not entirely. I did lose my husband but I do stay in contact with my kids. Unfortunately, because they live in Edmonton, I don't see them in person that often. I don't at all regret the divorce but I do regret that I didn't appreciate him more before he was gone. Not often but , once in awhile, I wonder what life would be like if I hadn't had the stroke. Would I still have my husband? Would I see my kids more often? But I know that the "what if" game is futile. My life is what it is. Besides, the stroke was instrumental in me becoming a Christian so how can I regret it?

I NEVER APPRECIATED MY JOB-Like most employees on most jobs, I know I did my share of complaining. But, now that I can't work, I really miss my job. Not so much now that I am older but I sure did at first. That is why,when someone complains to me about their work, I often tell them to be glad they can work.

I NEVER APPRECIATED GOD-Far from it. Though I grew up knowing about God, through Sunday school, I never really knew Him until I became a born-again Christian after the stroke. And it is pretty hard to appreciate someone you don't know, isn't it?

I realized that all the things that I never appreciated before the stroke took them away are gifts from God. Not being a Christian prior to the stroke, of course, I would not have seen them as gifts from God. But, even if I had been a Christian, I probably would have taken them for granted instead of appreciating them as gifts from God.