To Be or Not To Be

 To Be Or Not To Be-God gave me this title bit nothing else. So what I
write about will be news to me as well.

The first thing I thought is that none of us really has the choice of
whether to be a Christian or not. God, for reasons known only to Himself,
calls and draws to Himself those He wants to be born-again Christians.

However, after our salvation we do have some choices whether To Be or Not To
Be. The first choice is whether to be a person that puts God first in
EVERYTHING or to be a person who doesn't put God first. A Not To Be who
merely fits God into the rest of their life. I do try to put God first as
much as possible. I don't do anything else on my computer until I have
finished my Bible reading. And I never miss choice if at all possible to be
there.

Secondly,people who really want to be for God make church attendance a
priority. I know that I do. I know that God may speak through the pastor
something that I need to hear and I don't want to miss it. Plus, at church,
I get prayer and encouragement from other Christians, something I badly need
right now. Contrast this with the Not To Be sort of Christian who sees
church as a hit or miss proposition. They come to church when it fits their
personal schedule but they don't adapt their schedules around church like
those who want to be for God do.

The Christians who want to be for God put what the Bible says ahead of
anything else. Ahead of what their feelings are telling them and also ahead
of what other people, including preachers, tell them. That is why To Be sort
of Christians make a point of knowing their Bibles well. On the other hand, there are some Christians who spend very little, if any, in the Bible. Consequently, because they don't really know what God says, they are more prone to believe anything that is told to them. Accurate or not. I can honestly say that I have spent enough time reading the Bible that I SHOULD know if something I hear lines up with the Bible or not.

To Be sort of Christians have God as the center of their life 24/7. Not just on Sunday. It doesn't mean that they don't do everyday things like work, being a mom, etc. It just means that they also make time for things like Bible reading, praying, etc. on a daily basis. But that is not all Christians. There are those that seem to park God at the church door. They take God with them to church but, once the service is over, park God again until the next Sunday. During the week, they don't give God much of a thought. I have often thought that my circumstances probably make it easier to remain God centered most of the time.

One other difference between To Be and Not To Be Christians is the focus that they have on Heaven. The To Bes understand that this life is just temporary. They know that we are headed for a better place after we die and live accordingly. My circumstances, especially the cancer, have given me an eternal perspective but I also understand that, for most Christians, it would be easy to slip into a Not To Be way of life. So caught up with earthly affairs that they forget about what is yet to come.

I better clarify. This is not about Heaven or hell. When we get born-again, we all destined for Heaven, no matter what we do or don't do. It is about living in a way that pleases God before we die and go to Heaven. 

Father Knows Best

Father Knows Best-I am showing my age but, years ago, there was a show on tv
called Father Knows Best. That phrase is pretty much the theme of my life
right now. "Father (God)Knows Best "

"Father Knows Best" in our circumstances. We all, from time to time,
encounter circumstances that we would rather not have. Obviously, that is
true in my life. I certainly don't want to be unable to walk or talk. Being
diagnosed with cancer on top of everything else seemed to be the last straw.
I could not see anything good arising from the cancer but there have been some
good things. At first, I was close to panic which drove me even closer to
God. Now, I am calmer about the situation. However, I am still closer to
God. I don't know what the future holds but I do know it will turn out in
the way that will be best for me. Other people face all sorts of trying
circumstances. But it helps us all if we can remember that "Father Knows
Best" rather than murmuring and complaining.

"Father Knows Best" in our needs. I have learned over the years that what we
see as needs may be, in God's eyes, be merely a want. The rule of thumb that
I go by is this. If God sees something as a real need, we will have it.
Maybe not when we want but it will be there. So I know that God knows better
than I do what I really need.

"Father Knows Best" in our desires. At least for me. I honestly don't know
what I desire. At one time, all I wanted was to walk, talk and live a normal
life here on earth. But, now. after the cancer diagnosis, I am not so sure.
Now, when I read about God giving us our desires, I defer to God as I know
He knows better than I do what I desire.

"Father Knows Best" in timing for prayers being answered. When I pray, I
would like an answer to that prayer right away. But, over the years, I have
learned God's timing is not the same as human timing. If I fret because my
prayers are not being answered as quickly as I would like, I just end up
discouraged and depressed. So I am making the effort, not always easily, to
relax and let God work in His time.

"Father Knows Best" in the method for prayers getting answered. Most people, me anyway, have preconceived ideas of how we want our prayers answered. For instance, I often think that the way I would like to be healed is by going to bed one night and waking up healed the next morning. Wouldn't that be dandy? However, God, and God alone, knows the best way to answer our prayers. So our part is to just be still and allow God to accomplish things in His way.

"Father Knows Best" in the place He chooses for us to live. I have no idea why God has some of us living in a wonderful, prosperous country like Canada and others in poverty-stricken or war-torn nations of the world. All I can do is say Thank You and trust that He has His reasons.

"Father Knows Best" in when we were born. I would have liked to have been born somewhat earlier before all this technology and everything became so impersonal. Still, Father God knew that I was going need a certain amount of technology in order to develop my relationship with Him. I can't imagine not having a way to read the Bible. This is a pretty messed up world right now. A much simpler past seems mighty appealing but, perhaps, we were born for a time such as this. Who knows. Maybe we are in the world right now to help unmess it! Anyway, when we are born is entirely up to God so we may as well make up our minds to be happy about it.

The conclusion. "Father (God) Knows Best" in EVERYTHING so it is in our best interest to defer to Him in all things. 

Blogs

Blogs-Out of curiosity, I checked to see how many blogs I have written. To
my surprise, this one is my 167th one! That is a lot of hours that I have
spent writing blogs. But they also have filled up lots of long hours for me.

When the idea of writing a blog was presented to me, to be honest, I didn't
even know what a blog was, though I was pretty sure that it had something to
do with computers. (I am technology "challenged" and I like it that way.) After finding out for sure what a blog is, I definitely
declined. I have really come to enjoy writing these blogs, so thankfully I
have friends who would not take no for an answer. After much persuasion,
more like nagging, I agreed to pray about it.

One thing that I have learned over the years is that, when I say that I am
going to pray about something, I need to do it as soon as possible so it doesn't
slip my mind and I end up not keeping my word. So I took it to the Lord as
soon as I could. To my chagrin, I felt that He wanted me to start writing a
blog. Somebody suggested a daily blog but writing anything takes a long
time. I would never get anything else done if I did that so I settled for a
weekly blog. Anyway, these blogs started out as an act of obedience to God
rather than something that I wanted to do.

Once it was settled in my mind that I was going to write the blogs, it was a
question of what of what on earth I was going to write about. With help
from the Holy Spirit, I decided that a good starting point was my incredible
testimony. So I wrote it and a few more blogs. But, one day, I felt that the
Holy Spirit was asking me to open up a bit about myself. Hold on. I never
agreed to this. I am a very private person and not at all comfortable with
letting other people see into my life. It was difficult at first but I made
myself do it as an act of obedience to God. Little by little it got easier and
now I have no trouble opening up about myself.

Over the years, I have written blogs on all sorts of topics, from my personal history to how wonderful God is. And all sorts of things have inspired them but my primary aim, along with obedience, has always been to point people to my wonderful God. I can't even take credit for what I write. Although I usually have a general idea what I want to write about, once I start writing, some of the things that come out are news to me too or, if I knew it, didn't think of it. Obviously, the Holy Spirit is using these blogs to speak to me along with other people.

That went on until I was diagnosed with breast cancer and eventually told that the cancer couldn't be treated. Since then, I have noticed that my blogs have changed a little. I know that God is the only One who can help me so I am even more focused on Him. I am sure the blogs reflect it. I also know that, at times, the Holy Spirit uses the blogs as a means of encouraging me. Right now, I am in a situation where I need lots of encouraging. While I sure hope that other people get something out these blogs, I have to admit that I am using them to keep myself encouraged and "hanging in there". Writing keeps depression and fear at bay, especially when it is focused on God.

I have been thinking that I should go back and reread the blogs. People often say that they are inspiring so that might be another way of encouraging myself. I remember years ago at church, I was given a word from God to use what I have. Not understanding, I promptly forgot it. Now, though, I wonder if He was referring to using my computer to share my life and beliefs in these blogs. 

God Is...

God Is...-I have a lot of time to just think . One day, I was thinking that
some speakers seem to focus more upon how God can fix us up than on God
Himself. And that is good because we all need God to fix us up. However, at
times I like to just hear about God. That is what prompted me to write this
blog. This is far from a comprehensive list but I just wrote down some words
and phrases that describe God.

God is good . I have heard that many times. Think about it. Good is God with
an extra "o". Even though there are a lot of people and circumstances in
this world that are anything but good, that doesn't change the fact that God
is a good God. And in the end, His goodness will have the final say.

This is my personal favorite. God is a present help in the time of trouble
(or something like that). I would definitely say that I am in a time of
trouble. But I can also say that it is very comforting to know that He is
with me throughout this ordeal. Yes, it would be nice if He would just take
it all away, but so far He hasn't. What He is doing though, every
single day, is helping me to cope with what I face.

But God is also a holy God. Because He is always with me, I have to keep
reminding myself that this is God - the great, majestic, holy God and remind myself to treat
Him with the awe and reverence that He deserves.

God is a sun and shield. To me, that means light and protection. Right now, there is a lot of darkness in my life. But God and His promises cut through that darkness. Most of the time, anyway. And, even though my circumstances are pretty bad, I understand that they are also a way of protecting me from a lot of things other Christians face.

Speaking of protection, God is my fortress. A fortress keeps the bad guys out. Similarly, I know that God is keeping bad things out of my life. It may not look like it right now but I know it would be a lot worse without God and, in the end, everything will be wonderful.

God is my refuge. Some days, when I am feeling particularly discouraged, I am so tempted to e-mail somebody and give them a "woe is me" story. But I don't. Mostly, I admit, because I simply don't have the energy to write an e-mail. Instead, I turn to God and His promises in the Bible . Invariably, I come out of it feeling a whole lot better.

God is a rock. My rock. When I think of God as a rock, the last I thing think of is a little pebble. I think of a huge rock which can't be moved. It will be there forever. It is comforting to me to know that even in my bad times, He is the same as in my good times.

The Bible uses a lot more words and phrases to describe God but I have selected just a few that are extra meaningful to me. God 

Out of Touch

Out Of Touch-I had the stroke in July of 1983. Now it is January of 2017.
That means that I have been in a hospital or Long Term Care for almost 34
years. In that length of time, lots has changed in this world of ours.
Needless to say, I am very much out of touch with just about everything.

First of all, I am totally out of touch with life itself. Right now, l feel
like I am living a half-life. I have forgotten what is like to do even basic
care for myself. Things like washing my own face or hands, combing my own
hair, dressing myself, etc. I don't even remember what it is like to feed
myself. Much less do I remember what it is like to be a teacher and mother
of young children. (I never had the opportunity to be their mother as they
grew older). Anyway, I will probably need a crash course in "doing life"once
this ordeal is finally over!

I am also pretty out of touch with what is going on in the world. I never
watch news, though, most days, I do check news headlines on my computer so I
am not totally in the dark about worldly developments. However, I never read
the stories. The headlines, at least most of them, are depressing enough. I
don't need to add more depression to my life. I have a frequent battle with
depression as it is.

I am really out of touch with people. Except maybe not the nurses because
they can communicate better with me and they work under the same conditions I
live in. A major component of my being so out of touch with people is the
communication difficulty. But, I find that, even when we overcome the
difficulty in communication, visitors and I often just sit, not knowing what
to say to each other. I can no longer relate to a "normal" life and they certainly
can't relate to life in Long-term Care. For that reason, at times, I prefer
for people to just read to me. It takes my mind off of my problems and we
don't have to try to think of things to say to each other.

And then there is technology. When I had the stroke, computers were just starting to come in. Now, in 2017, it is cell phones and all sorts of other gadgets. I am, I admit, somewhat fascinated by all they can do but I will also admit that at present because I am not able to use them, I have never paid a lot of attention to them. I don't even know what half of them are for. I know the day will come when l will have to learn to use them but I will deal with that when the time comes. The one exception is my computer. Out of necessity, I have had to learn to do certain things on it and, now, I am lost without it.

I am really out of touch with the cost of everything now. Living in Long-term Care where all the food is provided, I have no idea of the cost of food. So, on the rare occasions that I am in a grocery store, I am flabbergasted at the prices. The same when I see cars advertised on tv. I am blown away by the cost. Mind you, cars now have a lot more "bells and whistles".

I am totally, and I mean totally, out of touch with fashion. The truth is, I seldom buy clothes. I simply wear what people give me. I assume they don't buy anything too out of fashion. But,even if they did, I wouldn't know the difference.

But I am not out of touch with God and the Bible. That is more important than all the things I am out of touch with. They will pass away but God and His word, the Bible, will last forever. 

Incidents That Confirm My Healing By God

Incidents That Confirm My Healing By God-I had no intention at all of
writing about this but something my pastor said this past Wednesday gave me
the idea. I don't remember his exact words but he said something to the
effect that we should get back and revisit the times of faith in our past.
That made me think that I should encourage myself by recalling all the times
that my belief in healing was confirmed.

it all started with my salvation. I admit that I was desperate and would
believe anything that might get me out of my hopeless situation. When he
prayed, I felt a heavy load before off my shoulders . I knew that God would
heal me and restore me to health. But I didn't know how long it would take
or all I would have to go through. If I had, I may not have been so excited!
(The very first blog I wrote was my incredible testimony if anybody wants to
read it).

Thus began my long journey towards my healing by God. Along the way, there
have been incidents that bolstered my faith. I will mention as many as I can
remember but not in any particular order. Mainly, because the order is not
clear in my mind.

There was my "heaven experience". I was told that I had to come back, I
assume to wait for my healing.

One time, when I was having a bath, I asked the Lord how He could heal this
misshapen body of mine. He reminded me of the Valley of Dry Bones . For you
who don't know, there is a story in the Bible of a prophet who had a vision
of valley of dried out bones. God turned those bones into a living,
breathing army. If God can do that, He certainly can restore me to health.

When I first started going to church, many people told me that they had
dreams of me walking and talking. The fact that I don't hear about those
dreams anymore leads me to believe that they were not from God. However, the
dreams that I think might be from God are when unsaved nurses, who probably
don't know that I am believing God for healing, have dreams that I am
talking to them. The interesting thing is that I have always been talking,
not walking, in these dreams. I have always felt, and others have said so
too, that I will talk before I walk. Though I would rather have it all at
the same time!

Through the long, frustrating years, I have had a few words about my healing, both from people and from God Himself. I can honestly say that it never even occurred to me that I might not be healed in this life.

But then I was diagnosed with cancer. A tiny seed of doubt crept in. Of course, I prayed about it but the only words I heard were "Trust Me" and "I know what I am doing". We all know that God knows what He is doing but wouldn't it be nice if He let us in on it? It hasn't been easy to keep up my faith for healing from God when I have to listen to comments like "We know what the prognosis is" or, before Christmas, apparently one of the nurses said that this might be my last Christmas.

However, there have been a couple of incidents since the cancer diagnosis that have fortified my belief in healing from God. One Sunday at church, Holy Spirit told me that the cancer was a distraction from my healing. I realized that I had become so focused on the cancer that I had pretty much forgotten that there are many other parts of my body that need healing as well. Since then, I have been trying to keep more of a balance. Concentrate on healing for the cancer but also for the rest of my body.

Another time, a person told me that my voice would be restored so I can command healing to the rest of my body.

I know that God had me write this blog as another way that He is encouraging me throughout this ordeal. 

One Day At A Time

One Day At A Time-I woke up this morning (Saturday) not really sure what to
write about in this blog. However, the song "One Day At A Time" was rolling
around in my mind so I figured that was a good starting point.

"One Day At A Time" is the theme of my life right now. Even though I know
that I am very blessed, I am also, daily, facing incredibly difficult
circumstances. So I focus on just getting through each day. A big reason I
take "One Day At A  Time" is because it lessens my periods of depression. When
I let myself think about the future, I usually end up depressed. It is
depressing to think that I might be living like this for how many more
years. Anyway, none of us, and I mean none, are guaranteed a future so why
make myself discouraged over what may or may not happen. But I also try not
to dwell on the past too often. The past is past and isn't going to change.
True, some of my memories, especially of my childhood, are pleasant but, too
often, I start thinking about all the things that I used to be able to do
that I can't do now. Which just, most times, brings on depression.

Living "One Day At A Time" helps to control my tendency to worry. If I don't
think about even the next day, I won't worry about what might or might  not happen. I
read somewhere about not worrying about what we can't control. So that is
what I am trying to do. I can't control what happens in the future, even of
just a few minutes, so why worry about it? I have pretty much developed a
"we-will-see-when-the-time-comes" attitude!

Living "One Day At A Time" is simply being obedient to what Jesus said in
the Bible. He says not to worry about tomorrow so, when I
start fretting about the future, I am being disobedient to Jesus.  This may
be the most important reason for taking "One Day At A Time".

A couple of things help me to take "One Day At A Time". Each morning, before I get up, I make a mental list of all the things I plan to do on that specific day. What Bible reading I want to do that day, what confessions I want to make, what  e-mails I want to write and, days I write my blog, about writing my blog. I even think about what I want to watch on tv that evening. Doing this helps me to stay focused on the day at hand and not dwelling on what may or may not happen the next day or the next week or the next year.

Another thing that I do to take "One Day At A Time" is by trying to control my thoughts.When I catch myself thinking about what the future may hold or dwelling too much on the past, I jerk my thoughts back into the present. I usually do this by starting to praise God. However, when I am using my computer, I read the Bible.

So, I am doing what I can to live "One Day At A Time". It would be a lie to say I have it mastered but I can honestly say I am getting better and, when I do live "One Day At A Time, I feel so much better.