If I Were Rich

  If I Were Rich-One day, while I was waiting for my lunch to be served,
outof the blue the the thought came to me, "What would you do if you
became rich?". To be honest, I have never wanted more money than I have
right now. I have plenty for my needs plus a bit extra. I also understand
that, without health to go with it, money is kind of useless. Mind you, I am
certainly thankful that I have enough. I can't even imagine financial
concerns on top of all my other "issues".

The one thing that I know I would do is buy a handibus for Long Term Care.
Now, when they take these people on outings, they have to use the town
handibus which is not always the most reliable. If they had their own bus,
they could take these people when and where they want.

Once in awhile, I joke around with the nurses that, if I suddenly became
wealthy, I would hire my own private nurse and cook. But it is just a joke.
Or at least I think it is!

I would like to think that I would that I would give most of it away for"
the furtherance of the gospel". However, I have another issue in my life
that may have some bearing on what I would do if I suddenly came into a lot
of money. When I get healed, the money that I am getting at present will be
cut off and, then, I have no idea where the money will come from. But, I do
know that God is not going to heal me without also making provision for my
needs to be met. So I have always been content to leave it up to Him. But,
if I suddenly had lots of money, I know that I would have to fight the
temptation to put it in the bank so I have it when I need it. Unless, of
course, there was enough money to both live on and to give away.

I have come to two conclusions from all this. The first is that, when we
have any kind of major decision to make, be it how to spend my hypothetical
wealth or something else, it is wisest to to go God first and find out what
He wants you to do and then to do it. It would be a lie to say I had
mastered it all the time but I am trying to get better at consulting God
before rushing into a decision. The other conclusion that I have come to is
this. None of us can really know what we would do in any given situation
until we are actually in that situation so it is kind of futile to
speculate. 

Appreciation

Appreciation-One positive thing about my current situation is that I have
learned to appreciate certain things a lot more.

One thing that I never really thought much about before but sure am thankful
for is my eyesight. I use my eyes a lot. Especially for communicating. I
need my eyes to use my speech board  and I wouldn't even be able to use my
computer to communicate without eyesight. I often tell the nurses what I want by merely
looking at it. The time would drag by even slower for me without eyesight.
Now, at least, I can read, both Bible and other stuff, write e-mails and
watch tv. I don't even want to think about what my life would be like
without being able to see.But, on rare occasions that I do, I sure appreciate
the way it is right now.

I appreciate my hearing, something else that I took for granted. Once in
awhile, my ears get plugged so I get a small idea of what it would be like
not to be able to hear. Still, though, even when my ears are plugged, I can
still hear a little bit. I can't even imagine going to church and not being
able to hear the sermon or the music. My day-to-day life in Long-term Care
would be even more difficult. What would replace all the time that I spend
listening to music? I can't imagine having a lot of conversations with the
nurses, except when it is necessary. It would simply be too difficult for
them to make me understand.

I appreciate that I have a sound mind. Because the stroke I had was
basically a blood clot at the base of my brain, I have occasionally wondered
if there was potential for brain damage. Anyway,, I appreciate the fact that
I have a sound mind. I always think that it is better to have a body that
doesn't work with a mind that does than the other way round. Every so often,
people come to Long Term Care with perfectly healthy bodies  but their minds
are shot. It is pretty sad.

I appreciate friends. Both those that go out of their way for me  and the
ones that are praying for me. I so appreciate the time people spend with me.
And I also know that praying is the most important thing that we can do for
other people. No doubt, all the prayers are helping me to endure.

I appreciate the nurses in Long Term Care. I get good care, I am sure other
people do too, and I certainly do value the friendship that I have with most
of the nurses but one thing that really impresses me is that they genuinely
seem to care for the people in Long Term Care. Elderly people don't always
have a lot of people to care for them so it is so nice to see that the staff
does.

Most of all, I appreciate Jesus. I appreciate that He died on a cross so I
don't have to go to hell. I appreciate that He gave me hope of healing in
this lifetime. I appreciate that, because of Him, I am never alone even when
there are no people around. I appreciate the strength that Jesus gives me to
cope with each day. And so on and on and on.

Advantages of Being a Christian

   Advantages Of Being A Christian-Of course, there are a multitude of
advantages to anybody but I was thinking of some advantages specific to my
situation.These are a few of them

The presence of God makes it easier to go through difficult situations. While
it would be nice if Christians never had to go through tough times, that is
simply not true. In fact, it sometimes feels like just the opposite is true.
As for me, since I have been a Christian, it has been pretty tough most of
the time.    I often think, " What would I do without You, Lord?" To be
honest, I have no idea. I can't imagine anybody going through this and not
knowing the Lord. I am just thankful that He is always there to give me the
strength to endure.

I lead a lonely life, partly because I am alone a lot but also because
communication is so difficult for me. But, being a Christian means that I
always have the Lord to talk to. And He can read my mind (though sometimes I
wish I were otherwise) so I don't need words to talk to Him. He talks me as
well through His  Holy Spirit. Or, at times, I will just feel His Presence,
like heat in my belly. That seems to happen a lot when I am in need of
comfort. So, though I may be away from people, I am never really alone.

I don't sleep a lot. Once in awhile, I manage maybe 6 hours of sleep but,
more often, it is 5 or even less. I know that I don't need as much sleep as
somebody who is working but I still wish that I could sleep more. If for no other
reason than to help pass time. Some of my nights seem  endless. That is
another advantage of being a Christian. When people are all sleeping, I
still have the Lord to talk to and He never sleeps!

Being a Christian improves my quality of life right now. It is far from
great but I know that, if I wasn't a Christian, it would be a lot worse. By
now, the people who I knew before would have forgotten about me so I
would be stuck here 24/7. And probably no visitors either. But, because I am
a Christian, arrangements are made so I can attend church 2 or 3 times a
week plus a variety of other church functions. I also have special Christian
friends who take me different places. I know at times, especially when it
involves stairs, it would be easier to leave me out but they seldom do and I
really appreciate it. I was thinking that I wouldn't even have my computer
as Christians set that up for me as well.

Being a Christian has given me hope, both for life on this earth and after I
die.  It is the hope of healing in this life and fulfilling whatever plan
God has for me that is the main thing that keeps me going. I vaguely recall
the few months after I ended up in this condition but before I became a
Christian. What a dark, hopeless time that was for me! Thankfully, I only
vaguely remember it.

The other hope I have is that of Heaven after I die. Because of it, I have
no fear of death. Why would I when it just means going to live with Jesus?
To be honest, I admit that I am almost envious of genuine born-again
Christians who pass away. No, I am not suicidal.  I know it is not my time
to go and that God still has a plan for my life on this earth. It is just
this, at times, the thought of "no more pain and,suffering" are mighty
appealing!

These, then, are just a few ways that being a Christian is helping me to
cope with a really difficult situation. 

A Long Time Ago, Part 2

  -This is merely a continuation of my previous
blog dealing with my "prior to Cold Lake" life. When I was 11, the ranch was
sold and we moved into the city of Medicine Hat. Back then, Medicine Hat was
far from a large city but it was still quite a change for a family of
"country bumpkins". Somewhat similar to the Beverly Hillbillies, though I
don't think we were quite that bad! We moved into a rambling, big old house
with lots of interesting nooks and crannies.  Though not a modern house, it
was a big improvement over the one we had lived in up until then. At least,
there was electricity (We even got a black-and-white tv) and indoor
plumbing. Thank goodness, no more outhouses!

I started grade 6 in a city school. Thankfully, it wasn't a large school or
I am sure I would have found it even more intimidating. After maybe 3 or 4
kids in my grade, it was quite something to be in a class with all the kids
in the same grade. I never really fit in, in fact took some teasing, so I
ended up shy and withdrawn which lasted right through grade 12. But, even
though I was never the most popular kid in the class, I always did have a
few close friends. As hard as it was for me to adjust to a city school, I
can't help thinking that it was probably even harder for my sisters who were
in junior and senior high school.

At this point, I will interject that,for this first couple of years after
moving to Medicine Hat, my sisters and I faithfully attended the Alliance
church. It wasn't far from where we lived so we could easily walk there. But
when I was 13 I decided that I wasn't going to church anymore and I didn't
either until I started going to the church I presently attend.

After graduating from high school, I want to university in Lethbridge. I
finally came out of my shell a bit and had a good time. I did some goofy
things, like most university students. My studies always came first, though.
I had to pay my own way though university so I couldn't afford to fool
around too much.

How I ended up in Cold Lake was rather unusual. Makes me wonder if God was
involved somehow. After I graduated from university with a B. Ed degree, I
could not get a teaching position, even though I applied all over. So I was
substitute teaching in Medicine Hat and living at home. In December, I would
guess, the superindendent in Bonnyville phoned to say that they needed a
grade 5 teacher in Cold Lake starting in January and would I be interested.
Cold Lake??? I had never heard of such a place! My sister did know that
there is a military base here but that it all. Apparently, he had called the
university in Lethbridge  and they gave him my name. I have always wondered
why, if they wanted somebody right out of university, they would call
Lethbridge and not the U. of A. However, I needed a job so I came to Cold
Lake, started teaching before I was officially hired and have been here ever
since.

There you have it. For what it is worth. A summary of my "prior-to-Cold
Lake" life. 

A Long Time Ago

-To be honest, I was seriously considering not writing any
more blogs simply because I feel that I have written about everything that I
could possibly write about. But the thought came to me, "Write about
yourself". I have already shared more about myself than I really wanted to.
So my thought was, "Now what?".  I felt to share about my childhood. So I
will.

I was born in Medicine Hat, eons ago, the youngest of four girls. My only
brother passed away before I was born. However, I grew up on a small ranch
fifty miles south of Medicine Hat, not too far from the US border. Although
no bigger than a farm, I call it a ranch because our primary source of
income was cattle. It is too dry there for Dad to grow crops, except a
little oats for the horses and wheat for the chickens.

It was not an easy life, that is for sure. My father was always busy doing
what ranchers have to do. Look after cattle, mend fences, haying, etc. We
girls had to work too. My two oldest sisters had to things like to help
round up cattle or to help to stack bales of hay. My one sister and I were
too young to do things like that but we had our chores as well. I sometimes
think how hard my mother must have worked. We didn't have electricity so she
made all our meals on a woodstove. Plus she baked our bread and churned our
butter. Plus she did a lot of canning. Plus she looked after a good-sized
garden. Plus she, by hand, milked our milk cow and fed the chickens. But,
despite being so busy, she still found time to make treats for us girls.
Many times, I remember coming home from school to find the table covered
with molasses cookies or homemade doughnuts. We seldom got bought candy but
Mom made fudge for us-both chocolate and brown sugar.

I believe my love of hockey developed way back then. Not having electricity,
we couldn't watch it on tv but we did have a radio. Every Saturday night, we
as a family would gather around the radio and listen to Hockey Night in
Canada.

One of the the things that I remember was the sense of community. When it
was time to brand calves or thresh grain, the men all got together and went
from place to place until the job was done for everybody. Even recreation
was community. There were dances at the school and everybody, from the
oldest to the youngest went. That sense of community was even in the school.

I remember a picture of me standing beside my sister on a big, white horse.
When I was about 5, I was scared of horses. But I had to get over that fast
as I had to ride horseback to a one room, later two room, school. Most of
the kids did ride on the bus but we lived so far from where the bus stopped
that it was faster to take the horses and cut through the fields to school.
The sense of community in the school was that,  because there were so few
kids in each grade, we did everything together. If we played softball, we
all played. Of course, we young ones were picked last!

God was not a big part of our lives but there were always Bibles in the
house and Mom used to play gospel music on the organ. I do know that my
mother had been to Bible school. It was too far to go to church in Medicine
Hat but the Alliance church in Medicine Hat used to have Sunday school at
Elkwater Lake which is not far from where we used to live. My parents took
us girls every Sunday. At least, I grew up knowing there is a God, not like
a lot of kids these days.

I admit that I had fun writing this. It brought back a lot of memories. But,
when I was 11, my life changed drastically. I will deal with that another
time. 

Time

  -When I was idly wondering what I would write for my next blog, the
word "time" popped into my mind. I had absolutely no idea what I could write
about time. I am still not certain so I am going to just throw out a few random
thoughts.

I have learned that God's timing is not the same as ours. We live in a world
where we want things not now but right now. God doesn't work like that.True,
there are times when God will perform an instantaneous miracle but we can't
count on them. The norm seems to be more like this: God gives us a promise
and we are excited about it. But then we have to wait for the fulfillment of
that promise. Sometimes even for years. During the waiting, we often have to
fight the temptation to give up. I suspect, though, that God is more
interested in developing our character the way HE wants than fulfilling the
promises when we want. I know that, when I first received the promises of healing, I
thought I would be "zapped" and be back to the way I was. However, after all
these years and still not healed, I realize that it won't happen that way.
But I also realize that I am not the same person that I was back then.

Very few people seem to be content with the amount of time that they have. I
am constantly hearing people complain that they don't have enough time. I
wouldn't know what it is like to not have enough time but, I am guessing,
what they need most is to prioritize their time. God first, of course. On
the other hand, there are those of us who have too much time on our hands.
Still, though, I have it a lot better than most people in this place because
I do have my computer to keep me occupied. Plus I do get out. I can't even
imagine what life must be like for people in a place like this 24/7 and who
are in their right mind but have nothing to do all day. Except maybe watch
tv.

Having so much time is both a curse and a blessing for me. It is a curse
because it is a challenge to find things to occupy my mind. Especially when
I am in bed and can't use my computer. Another way so much time is a curse
is that, when people have too much time, they tend to think too much about
themselves whereas, if they are busy, not so much. But, I also know that so
much time is very much a blessing. I have lots of time to spend with God,
reading the Bible, talking to God and praising Him etc. Another blessing is
being able to hear from God. It a lot easier with time to just focus on God.
I suspect some people don't hear the voice of God simply because they are
too busy rushing around.

A quick comment about a couple of sayings in regard to time. We say that
something has stood "the test of time". When God makes us wait so long, I
wonder if He wants to make sure our faith can stand "the test of time" ?
Quite often, somebody will say that they will "make time" for somebody or
something. Obviously, God is the only one who can actually make time. What
they are really saying is probably more like this: I will make this person
or thing a priority over other things I spend time on.

These are a few random thoughts about "time". I am still not too sure why I
wrote about "time" but I don't need to know why. Just to obey. 

Praise

      -Praising, or singing to God, both in Long Term Care and at church,
is important to me. Because I can't talk, of course my praising has to be
somewhat different from other people. But, to God, praise is praise. As long
as it comes from a sincere heart. There are several reasons why praise is so
important to me.

Probably the most important reason for praising is simply that He deserves
it. When I think that God sent Jesus to die on the cross so I wouldn't have
to go to hell, how can I not praise? In addition, there all the benefits
that come with being a Christian. Healing, for one. And, then, there is the
hope of Heaven. If nothing else, that is definitely something to look
forward to!

Another reason that praising is so important to me is that it helps to keep
my focus on God where it should be. It is pretty easy to keep my focus on
God at church but not so easy the rest of the time. That is why I have
music, almost entirely Christian, playing most of the time. Especially in
afternoon, when I have to rest in bed, I like to "sing" along to the music.
It is pretty hard not to keep my focus on God when I am praising Him. Most
of my music is Christian but I do have a bit of classical. For some reason,
classical music always makes me want to praise God.

My life is tedious so I am always looking for something to help me pass the
time. Praising God does that. It is amazing how much faster the time goes by
when I am praising God rather than thinking about myself.

Praising God at church makes me me feel more like I belong. There are so
many church activities that I can't be part of that I often feel like I am
on the outside looking in. But, when everybody starts to praise and worship
God, that is one thing I can do along with everybody else. Even if my form
of praising is not quite the same.

Finally, praising is an anti-depressant for me, just like reading the Bible
is. When I am feeling frustrated and depressed, if I have the sense to MAKE
myself start to praise God, it is usually not too long before I start to
feel better. The operative word, though, is "make". When I am feeling down
like that, the last thing I want to do is praise, God or anything else. At
church, it is usually not such a struggle to praise. I admit, though, that
there are times that all I can do is praise though the tears. But, if I keep
at it, I soon feel better.

So, then, even though I praise God because He deserve it, there are also
plenty of benefits for me.