The End and The Beginning

This is Angie. I am writing to tell you that my friend, this spunky, courageous, perseverent, witty, sometimes grouchy, remarkable woman, is suddenly unable to continue her blogs. Our enemy, cancer,  is causing her pain and making it difficult for her to breathe, keeping her in bed, and stealing her life.

But it can’t steal her real life!!! Soon...she will be able to lift her hands in praise, and eat a crunchy apple and take a walk, and sing at the top of her lungs. 

My heart aches, and thrills...

I can do all things

I Can Do All Things-Lately, the Bible verse that says that I can do all
things through Christ who strengthens me has been rolling around in my
thoughts. Philippians 4:13, I think. Too frequently, I that this is too hard
and I can't do it anymore. Then that scripture comes to mind and I just keep
on keeping on. 

Job

Job-Now that Christmas is over, I must get back to the mini-blogs. I was
thinking about the story of Job in the Bible. I can identify with a lot of
what Job was feeling as he was going through things. That particular day,
though, I was thinking of one specific way that Job and I are the same. We
both found it much easier to make faith-filled statements before the pain.
Pain has a way of distracting from faith. Because of pain, I feel as if I am
losing my vision of total healing. But I do have one advantage over Job. I
have Jesus and the Holy Spirit to help me through it. Poor Job didn't even
have that! 

Blessings

  Blessings-This time, I want to focus on a few of the blessings that are
in
my life RIGHT NOW. By far, the greatest blessing is the presence of the
Lord, through the Holy Spirit, in all aspects of my life. What a comfort to
know that He is always with me, no matter what happens or how I feel.
Another blessing for me has been being able to attend church a couple of
times a week. I find it both refreshing and inspiring. Other people are a
blessing to me as well. Especially those that spend time with me and/or do
specific things for me. Included are my sweet little grandkids. Others, who
I may or may not know, are a blessing by praying for me, especially the ones
that have kept at it all these years. I am also blessed by the staff in
Long-term Care. Because life is not easy for me, I am not always at my best but they just "grin and bear it"! 

I Can’t Be Bothered

I Can't Be Bothered-Lately, I seem to have developed a "I can't be bothered"
attitude to a lot of things. For example, I have always disliked being
called pet names like honey or dear. To me, it is belittling to be talked to
like that by somebody half my age. So I always made it clear not to call me
that. Now, though I still don't like it, I usually just let it pass because
I can't be bothered to react. Another example is when I am talking to
somebody with my speech board they and don't understand what I am trying to
say. There was a time that I would keep trying to make myself understood.
Now, unless it is really important, I can't be bothered. Let them think what
they want. In fact, a lot of times now, I can't even be bothered using the
speech board unless I  need something. I could give plenty examples of my "I
can't be bothered" attitude but you get the point. The good news is that it
hasn't gotten into the "God" areas of my life. I still want to go to church,
I still want to read the Bible and I still want to talk to God. And, for me that is all that really matters. 

Remaining Positive

 Remaining. Positive-Recently,the cancer symptoms here worsened and I am
tempted to yell and scream that it is not fair. Instead, I am TRYING to
remain positive. With God, I know things often get worse before they get
better. I figure that, if the symptoms are getting worse, it must mean that
my deliverance is also getting closer. The main thing that is helping me to
remain positive is the Bible, the word of God. Especially the promises of
God for healing but I do other Bible reading as well. Right now, I feel like
I am facing a brick wall and all I know to do is to keep hitting at that wall
with the word of God until it collapses. Other people also help me to remain
positive, both the ones that share the word of God with me and those that,
for awhile, take my off of what I am facing. Attending church is an
excellent way to keep myself positive. It is hard not to be positive in such
a faith-filled atmosphere. One of my favorite ways to remain positive is by
reading testimonies of people who have beaten cancer. Especially ones with
no medical intervention. Just by claiming healing promises in the Bible, over and over and never giving up. If they can do it, so can I! 

I’m Back!

 I am back! Sort of. My new mouse makes it a lot longer and more tedious
to write anything. So, at least now, I will be limiting myself to very short
blogs. At the end of September, or just before, I made a decision to stay
calm, no matter what. I admit that I am often irritable in the morning so it
doesn't take much to "ruffle my feathers". I suspect that the nurses
frequently think that I am in a bad mood when they get me up. Too often that
has true but, lately, quite often, I am telling myself to stay calm so I
don't get in one! However, one day, the head pad (mouse) was dead. I use it
to operate my computer. Fortunately, I had another one. But it was stiff
and hard to use. Since then, it has been a struggle to operate my computer.
I have had plenty of opportunity to practice that resolve to "stay calm".
Despite a few frustration meltdowns, for the most part, I have been able to stay
calm . It seems that whenever we make a positive decision, circumstances arise that challenge that decision!